Disturbing Question of the Day

Why am I dreaming of man love?

Not as cool as aliens

I like Christopher Hitchens. He's a hilarious drunk. He's a little bit hostile to religion, but his latest column in slate is worth the 120 seconds it takes to read. Here are some nice excerpts:

Isn't it amazing how self-pitying and self-aggrandizing the religious freaks in this country are?

...I will on no account vote for a smirking hick like Mike Huckabee, who is an unusually stupid primate..

hell yes!

Smarter than me

I couldn't figure this out. Spent my whole lunch hour (30 minutes) on it. Didn't have Internet access to cheat or look up geometry information. I thought I had the answer but when I went back to check I found that I'd made a mistake. Major Kudos if you can figure it out. I'd be willing to bet that Kyle can't get it without doing research.

Upcoming Cinematic Adventures

New trailers including next May's IRON MAN:

IRON MAN:

CLOVERFIELD:

THE GOLDEN COMPASS:

John Rambo- I.e. Rambo IV

I just love it when action stars hit a mid-life crisis! Last year we were treated to Sylvester Stallone's "Rocky Balboa", a rather gritty look at the dysfunctional life of an aging and washed up boxer. The fight scenes were more "realistic" (realistic for a Hollywood movie, that is) than the first four Rocky installments, and were in a lot of ways more enjoyable.
Not to be content with the retirement of his action career, Stallone has taken up the director's chair again, but this time to resurrect his bow-wielding alter ego, John Rambo. Prototypical plot features a "retired" Rambo who just so happens to be living in a jungle close to a Burmese war zone. Aside from shooting fish with his bow from the front of his river boat, Rambo seems to have learned the fine art of blacksmithing. If you can suffer through the first minute of this trailer, you will be well rewarded with the most gruesome trailer I have ever seen. BTW, it is rated-R and NOT WORK SAFE. Personally, I think that Stallone's tactic of releasing this graphic trailer for the internet is an excellent move. He knows the movie will be ripped to shreds by critics before it ever gets to the editing room, so he's trying to drum up some internet buzz ahead of time. It seems like it's working. I will probably netflix this movie next year.

Should have called it SpiderGay 3

Ok so I'm at least half cocked, but spiderman 3 was still a pile of crap. Here's some tips I picked up if I ever decide to make a movie.

• If my action movie is 130 minutes long, 60 minutes up front is too long to talk about love.
• Try not to introduce the best main adversary with 20 minutes left in the movie.
• If I'm going to copy Batman and have a butler give sage advice to someone, double check that I'm making a movie about Batman.

In all seriousness, the writing sucked, and it took way to long to do anything cool.  The end fight with everyone was pretty neat, but even that was still only about 70% neat.  Please tell me that they aren't making a fourth movie.

• 
  

http://www.threepanelsoul.com

Star Makers

Star Makers - A pretty cool article on other civilisations.

Nintendo Mix.

I've decided to take my drenning to the next level by burning a CD full of Nintendo MIDIs and and some guitar remixes. Some ultra dork by the name of vertexguy makes some kick ass guitar songs from classic games like Metroid and Contra. All the shitty MIDIs I found at vgmusic.com. I can't wait to crank this CD up when I'm rolling down Telegraph tonight. I wonder if I'll got shot?

This country is going to hell

MADD sucks

Beer + Car = D'oh.

Yes, well all know that a drunk driving ticket is no fun at all. Every time someone mentions the ugly acronym “DUI”, people get paranoid and upset, and they seem to link DUI with bad person. Well let me shed a little light on the DUI, as you all know it’s a ghastly thing, but I’ll let you in on some things you might never have heard of. On April 4th of this year, I received an OWI (Operating While Intoxicated) which is the same as a DUI, why the name change I’ll never know. Anyway, I only blew a .08, which is right on the fucking line, and I still got anal tapped without lube. The judge is letting me off EASY, and if I jump through hoops like an enslaved rat, then they’ll drop it off of my record. And for the record, my attorney told me I’m a lucky son-of-a-bitch, as almost NO ONE gets out of an OWI/DUI in Oakland County. So now that the back story is out of the way, I’m sure you’re all just itching to know what kind of trouble I’ve been in. First off, my fine was $1,450, which is required to be paid in full on the day of sentencing or you go to jail. Good thing I had that nest egg lying around. I’ve also been admitted to a program called J.A.M.S. (Jail Alternatives for Michigan Services), which is a random alcohol/drug testing center. I don’t know exactly how many of these places there are, but it appears to be somewhere around the order of 20 spread out from Grand Blanc down to Detroit. I have to test for alcohol once a week and for drugs once a month. I started going to J.A.M.S. on April 10th, and I won’t be done until January 4th. It costs $6 to take the alcohol test, and $12 to take the drug test. And yes, they have some dude stand and watch you piss in a cup, and I’m sure he loves every minute that he gets to see a stranger’s wang. This past weekend (10/26-10/28) I had to attend a weekend long camp called A.R.M. (Accepting Responsibility is Mandatory). At this fun little weekend retreat we get to learn all about how alcohol and drugs affect the body, how alcoholism is a disease, and how we’re going to Hell for drinking and driving. We get to participate in “team building” activities in the woods with all the other members of camp, and had many hours upon hours of lectures. At the end of camp we had to write a one page essay on what we learned and how we will use this information to help in our daily lives, and this essay will be sent to our probation officers for review. Oh, I failed to mention, you have to be dropped off to and picked up from this camp. At the end of camp everyone who attended had to give a speech about what they learned, in front of EVERYONE’S parents/guardians/bitches/whatever. Now, some of these crazy fucks at camp are repeat drunk driving offenders. One such person was only 23 years old, has paid up to $12,000 in fines so far, is on probation for 7.5 years, has to attend AA meetings every day for 90 days, had to go to the A.R.M. camp twice, is testing daily at J.A.M.S., and has no driver’s license. Speaking of licenses, another reason why I was let off easy is because I didn’t get a license sanction. Most first time offenders will get anywhere from a 3 month to 6 month license sanction depending on their master driving record. Let’s see, what other kinds of horse shit do I have to do. Oh yeah, I have to meet with my probation officer once a month for the next 12 months, and that’s $50 a visit. I have to attend a MADD meeting this coming Thursday and that’s another $30, and I have to complete 80 hours of community service. All this for a first time offense, and blowing on the line at .08. I estimate that I will be spending around $2,500 by the time this is all said and done. Just for shits and giggles, I’ll tell you about the UBAL (Unlawful Blood Alcohol Level). Michigan is one of the only states that have this, but basically you’re only allowed a certain amount of alcohol in your body, even if you’re on private property. A person’s maximum BAC has to be lower than .15 to be considered legal. For example, you’re throwing a wild party at your house, people are getting rowdy, chicks are getting nude, and someone’s throwing up all over your couch. If someone in the neighborhood complains enough the cops can come over and administer breathalyzer tests. The cops can write you a ticket if you blow over a .15, even if you’re 21, and guess what? You’re now an alcoholic. If this happens in Oakland County you’ll probably be sentenced to A.R.M. or at least J.A.M.S. I’m writing this to let all you fuckers know exactly what can happen, so drink at your own risk, and if you get busted don’t say I didn’t warn you. This shit is not fun.

I don't know if everyone knows this but today our Garble and I are scheduled to become uncles. This is the first one for Garble and the third for me, (Garb’s has 2 already.) Sadly this is one of those cases that you read about and hope that it doesn’t happen to you or anyone that you care about. My little brother, MidgetThumbs, does it more justice than I can so here’s an excerpt from an email he sent last month…

October 29, 2007 we are scheduled to go to Ann Arbor in the evening and have B.'s labor induced.

As many of you know, we had a series of appointments at U of M on September 27^th. Another ECHO was done (ultrasound of the baby’s heart) when we first arrived. The cardiologist, Dr. Gomez-Fifer, told us that the Coarctation of the Aorta was a definite problem that would have to be repaired with surgery and that the VSD (hole between the ventricles) would also need to be fixed. We were told the same thing at our first appointment a month ago. Both fixes are considered major heart surgery with the possibility of more surgeries needed later in life. However, there is a 98% success rate for these surgeries.

The one unknown condition from the first appointment was whether or not our baby did indeed have a condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome – a very serious condition in which the heart is rebuilt through a series of three surgeries in the first two years of life. The cardiologist told us that it was still too soon to know.

We met with Dr. Hirsch later in the morning. She will be the surgeon operating on our baby. She agreed with Dr. Gomez-Fifer that our baby’s condition seems too borderline to determine whether it needs the HLHS surgeries. She told us that after the baby is born it will have an ECHO within the first 6-12 hours. After the ECHO is preformed, a team of cardiologists and surgeons will go over the results and make the decision.

We also met with an OB, a genetic counselor, a social worker and got a tour of the high-risk labor and delivery area. We also had a full ultrasound done – they estimate that the baby is currently 5lbs 9oz!

We asked the surgeon if there was anything we should be doing between now and the birth to prepare ourselves and our home for our baby. Her two suggestions were that B. gets as much rest as possible and that she makes as big of a baby as possible – she recommended pizza, pasta and milkshakes (for those of you that know B., she will be substituting the milkshakes with chocolate cake!). She said that bigger babies seem to handle surgery better.

We continue to ask for your prayers. They are what have gotten us through these past couple of months, and the only way we will make it through the upcoming months. We pray every day for miracles, for our baby’s heart to be healed. We pray that we are able to bring a healthy baby home with us by Thanksgiving. Please join us in these prayers.

We have four more weeks. We most likely will not send out another update until we head to the hospital, but please let us know if you have any questions.

We thank you again for your prayers and support and wanted to let you know that we pray for all of you every day as well. You have all been a blessing and we truly appreciate you all.

God Bless,

I pray for them and their unborn, and hope that it turn out for the best. Sometimes bad things happen to good people.

Update Tomorow.

Daddy would you like some sausage?

Maybe this will get everyone's mind off Ndammit's stupid ass lesbian-cup-shitting video.

Something Decent for Once.

RPG Cliches that need to die. This is a good one I thought.

Very NSFW

DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW. I WATCHED 3 SEC. OF THE CLIP AND THAT WAS 1 SEC TOO MUCH. ~Garble

This goes so far beyond NSFW that I'm not able to put it into words. It is far beyond the most disgusting thing I have ever seen and I hope that it's the nastiest thing that any of you have seen too. But if not post a link to it. If you are weak of stomach (cohort) I recommend that you have a bucket or something near at hand to catch your vomit. You have been warned. Enjoy

I hope Chris Angel Doesn't see this

Well, we know she didn't have anything up her sleeve at the end.
NSFW!

Dumbledore's gay

Here's the proof

Contra 4

Here's a video of the first level of Contra 4. BTW, for those of you who have pokemon for the DS (not mentioning any names), how is it? Do you still like it? What about that other game, wild magic or something, that was mentioned a long time ago?

Bruce Campbell

The 6 best Bruce Campbell movies you'll never see.

Holy crap

Hot girls are hot. Not girls are not.

Best speed control idea

ever. Video nsfw

this is funny also.

i would have hated pep rallies less

if stuff like this had happened.

most annoying minorities

I think outraged black leaders are like number 4 or so. Also they rip on hipsters/emo as one of the most annoying minorities. But they save WASPs for numero uno. I like that. It's a good point. As a class white dudes have more money and power than any group since the dawn of time. Unless you're actually born rich I don't think it's possible to start out any further ahead than random US white guy. Now it's just up to us to keep our position as the planets apex. So stop whining about gay marriage, drop the golf clubs, and get to work making more money and power you fat fucks.

Less Dull

Than my last link on comics.

you have to click through to the strongbad comic for this to make sense. You'd have to be a total retard not to figure that out for your self but you know...cohort.

new web comics

Read it and laugh you worthless sacks, read it and laugh.

Losers

point and laugh folks, point and laugh

Strike

check out the comments by doorman at the freep forums.
my money is on token strike for the leadership to save face. if thats not it i hope gm takes it all the way and breaks the union. Bankruptcy wouldn't be that bad.

cool pics

of bullets

Porkchop Sandwhiches!!!

Porkchop Sandwhiches!

Funny Dubbed-over G.I. Joe PSA's. There's swearing so careful where you watch these.

Early morning activities.

Sometimes I like to get up early and waste some small game. Here's my yield from today's adventure.

I didn't miss a single shot either. Eat that Quigley.

Animgay.

I've been doing a little bit of research on an anime called "Gunslinger Girl" and it looks to be kind of interesting. Has anyone watched or know if it's any good?

Movies galore

New trailers including next May's IRON MAN:

IRON MAN:

CLOVERFIELD:

THE GOLDEN COMPASS:

KNOWLEDGGGGGEGGEEE

The Lost Nintendo Sex Ed Tape

I didn't authorize this

But I'm not very happy that some in the ranks are freelancing. Especially for something this lame. I mean, I could see it if they were guarding a liquor store or something. Click to embiggen.

Cohort at the Strike Zone

Here's a picture of Cohort at the Strike Zone. What a closet gaymer.

Notice the Lysol wipes to try and sop up the pore oil and billions of extra skin cells shed by the average gaymer.

Local gayming.

There's a nerd outlet in Fenton called Strike Zone. It's a place that hosts all-night LAN parties and is full of computer nerdery. But you don't have to play at the all-nighters if you don't want to. Five dollars will grant you an hour's play time and you can play by yourself or with others of similar fatness. I plan on checking this place out soon for a good laugh. I plan on bringing my camera so I can take hilarious photos and post them up for everyone to enjoy.

For now, here's the link to the photo gallery in their website. Fat kids. Take notice of all the pizzas on the computer towers, as well as the array of junk food and all the greasy hair flying around in this place. And I couldn't even find a picture of a girl there. They don't know what they're missing.

Why is there always a JOSH!???

New D&D based webcomic Chainmail Bikini Work Safe (so far).

Simon Says, "I hate these guys!"

I have never hated a video or two people as much as what you are about to see. I don't feel sorry for you if you find this sort of thing entertaining, as a matter of fact I hope you get hit by a flaming tanker truck filled with jet fuel while you escort your family across a busy intersection. I wish people would quit thinking this sort of shit is funny so it can quit being made.
Milk & Cereal

up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-b-a-b-a-start

A stupid comic to go with the equally stupid Neverwinter.

NWN badlands

So Simon, Jim and I have been playing on the badlands server. I've been very hit and miss lately with when I'm on. My grad classes have started back up (2 to go!) and that leaves even less time. But I've noticed a few things
1. The drow weapon master is a bastard. He has +98 to hit and you have to make a fort save when he crits you (dc 47) or die. I can't beat him.
2. Defensive stuff doesn't seem to keep pace with offensive.

kids crying, more to come.

Don't Forget About....

...2007 Holly Michigan Ren-Fest

Cheaper Drenning.

I just recently saw that the price of NWN 2 has dropped to 30 dollars. I would buy it but Metroid Prime 3 for the Wii comes out in two days. So someone else should buy NWN 2 and tell me how it is. Queers.

DM of the Rings.

Just in case you've forgotten about this hilarious comic, here's a classic.

I loved doing this sort of thing in Garbles games.

Trophy Hunting.

Here's a picture of a dragon Jim and I killed last night while playing Neverwinter Nights on the badlands RPG server. Unfortunatly Jims character was 'feared' and stuck in a corner when the shot was taken, thanks for your help or I wouldn't have been able to kill this thing without your clerics help.

Have a coke

Because I don't have enough projects or hobbies already, and I have tons of empty space in the garage I must be looking for something to do with all my spare time. So, I stop at a barn sale and buy two old coke machines from the fifties, for cheap.
I knew that they were potentially worth a bit of money as collectibles, and failing that they'll make two awesome cold smokers.

Turns out that they sell for more than my Hyundai when they're restored, and seeing that a coke machine is an over-glorified refrigerator, I should be able to make it go.

The taller machine (Cavalier C-51) is in the roughest shape externally, but it was made in the era of screw fasteners, instead of rivets so I can take it apart and hammer/dolly the dents out, skim-bondo the exterior and have it repainted professionally (I know someone who does custom paint on cars)

RPG Comic #2

Not the first time a "doritos" joke turned ugly

[intro: the following is a chat between Simon and Jim concerning the fact that Garble's headset is so quiet it makes him sound like he's on Uranus. I think D&M might be able to explain to Garbs how amplified sound works.]
Simon says:

Dammint Garble, just put the microphone up to your mouth!!!!

Jim says:

his mic is in the living room, he's in the den

Simon says:

Garble, I TOLD you to quit spitting dorito chunks into the Mic, jeese!

Jim says:

he might still have the plastic packaging on the mic...

Simon says:

Garble left his Mic condom on...great.

Jim writes:

Simon says:

that looks......well....

Jim says:

dude, that looks weird

Jim says:

sorry

Simon says:

yeah....

Jim says:

you get my meaning...

Simon says:

Sounds like a new AThug name "Yo Yo Yo, dis be Rapper Mic bustin' out some tunes bitches"

Jim writes:

Simon writes:

Jim writes:

Simon says:

his mouth looks like a piece of pizza

Simon says:

No, he looks like Gluttony from FMA

Jim writes:

Simon says:

siiiiiiiiiiiiick

Simon says:

'toes'

Jim says:

again, sorry

Simon says:

quit inserting things into stuff

Jim says:

you've got a sick mind

Simon says:

So

More bedroom dren stuff.

Lately I've been tired of gayming on my rotten 16" monitor for my computer. Even though it's a Mitsubishi, I'm getting tired of its smallness. So instead of wasting upwards of $250 on a LCD monitor, I bought an S-video cable instead and hooked my computer to my tv. It's 27" (just like...) and so far it's been great. The display resolution for my comp had to be taken down to 800x600 to make viewing possible on the tv. Any higher than that and the text for icons, Word, etc. becomes to fuzzy and illegible to read. But I decided that I'm not using my computer for reading, I'm using it for gayming. So a wise $40 purchase landed me a Logitech wireless keyboard and mouse, and came with a set of bonus speakers. And let me say, gayming on my bed with a 27" tv kicks so much ass. I figured there would be some issues with tv refresh rate vs. computer monitor, but everything has been kosher so far. My tv is now the central hub for entertainment in my room. I have my computer hooked to it with internet access, the Wii with internet access, Nintendo 64, Super NES, NES, and a DVD player. I now really have no reason to leave my room. If I could only get a trough that connects to my ceiling from the kitchen, then I could just have food dropped into my mouth whenever I wanted.

More Toys!

Yo yo yo, I'm getting a boat next week, I don't have a picture of the exact one but this is a picture of the exact model, just a slightly different color.

It's a 1995 17' Four Winns, with a 130hp Evinrude outboard motor. Aww yeah, time for some skiing bitches.

NSFW and creepy

Just strange.

1993 Chevy Pickup

I meant to post this about 12 months ago. Better late than never.
Here's my "Grandpa truck". The truck was born in Michigan back when we were all still jerking off to Kathy Ireland. My best guess is that the truck is 15 years old. It has 55,000 miles (12,000 of which I've put on in the last 12 months), and everything is original aside from the regularly scheduled stuff. I serviced the transmission recently and everything looked great. Aside from a little rust on the undercarriage (can you say Michigan roads in winter?) it's in pristine condition. The only thing I'll have to worry about down here is oxidation due to sun exposure.

Below is a look under the hood. Man, GM used to build a good quality vehicle. I only have two complaints with it: 1) the rear main seal leaks a tiny bit, which is more of a design flaw (thanks Garbs!) than any sort of a maintenance issue; and 2) the oil filter on a small block like this one is a pain in the ass to get to. The upside is that the oil that spills out when you remove the filter pours down onto the drive shaft, thus adding lubrication. I don't think GM intended for that to happen though.

Who wants to have a sword fight?

Not with those you homos, with these. Now we can order weapons from popular shows/video games. Maybe now I can complete my Link ensemble from The Legend of Zelda and do some serious trick-or-treating this year. If a kid won't give me his candy I can cut his legs off with my Master sword.

Computer Wars

I'm treading on thin ice here. I'm going to ask the Spoonhouse their opinion on a serious subject. At the risk of suffering shame and ridicule (I can hear it now, "nOOb!!!"), and the possibility that this post will spiral out of control once Cohort gets a hold of it and divulges his embarrassing bedroom story from last Friday, I am going to seek technical advice.
I'm in the market for a new PC. Mine is an old Compaq (2002), and it's age really began to show when I installed Unreal Anthology and the nearly 10GB it required soaked up 25% of my hard drive. So, in order to keep up with the Joneses (or the Hawkses), I need a new machine. Right now is a good time to buy from big-box stores because of their back to school specials. A perusal of the recent ads turned up the following specs on various machines (HP, Compaqs, Gateways, etc), all for around $600:
300-400GB hard drive
2048MB memory
2.1-2.6 GHz processor (mostly AMD Athlons)
and 17"-19" flat panel LCD monitors
I have no idea what the video cards in these type of machines are though.

So here's the question: Should I buy a bundled desktop, or build one from scratch ala Simon and Jizzoel? Seems to me that years ago you could build a kick-ass machine from scratch and save yourself a ton of money, but I think that gap has shrunk. What say you!?

Like I've been there

This one reminds me of how everyone used to complain about Jack in lunchbox's last D&D game.

New web-comic

All these web-comics have actually gotten me motivated to do something. I whipped together this draft comic.
I was thinking of calling it "Of Dice and Men", but I'm not sure if that name is already taken. Any suggestions are appreciated.

Tahoe has a bear problem

Oddly enough this slide show doesn't bring up the obvious solution. This sort of explains why. Long story made short: People are stupid and animals that become dangerous should be killed and given to Simon's dad for mounting.

oh my gosh the GM is still yammering on about the back story.

I found a new web comic. It's pretty good. Treats Lord of the Rings like an RPG. Check it out.

Hypnotism on D&M

Any one else catch the hypnotist this morning? He was pretty funny. They have videos up on the drew and mike page.

Blogging for one

Garble, read your email. If you didn't get a message from me, let me know.

Hit in the head

The second to last panel. HAHA

Looking for Group

This new comic is great Looking for Group Here's a sample page.

Wedding Presant

Looks like I know what to get Jack.

I can't wait until paris is on celebrity boxing!

how do you spell Schedenfreud? Her grandad seems pretty cool.

Who do you think she should have to box?

I choose you, Pikachu!

As if my life wasn't already nerdy enough with bedroom wi-fi and pants peeing, I decided to go against the rules of adulthood masculinity and buy the newest version of Pokemon for Nintendo DS. If you put aside the cute visage of fuzzy monsters and the average diaper-wearing demographic of Pokemon players, you'll find a surprisingly deep and entertaining title. At nearly 500 different monsters to catch, hundreds of moves/techniques, and many different towns to visit it makes for a deeply satisfying RPG. I bought the game two days ago and I've already logged almost 10 hours game time. I found out today that the older GameBoy Advance titles are backwards compatible for Pokemon trading purposes, so naturally I had to call around the local used dork venues (Game Stop) to snag a copy. When I called there this afternoon a hot sounding (fatass in real life) chick answered the phone. After asking about carrying older gaymes in stock, I asked her if they ever hold Pokemon tournaments. She laughed. I called a Game Crazy and asked the same thing. He hung up. A gaymer such as myself can't even get respect from a game store. For as hugely popular the game is, selling a million copies in two days, you'd think people would be up for the prospect of a Pokemon tournament. If I only had a real life Pikachu I'd blast the hell out of those cocks with my Thundershock attack. Oh well, I guess I'll have to stay home and battle wirelessly with my DS and a fresh batch of pizza rolls.

Turn away from a pointless argument? that's unpossible.

Obviously I think that Jim should beat these dumb hicks like a drum until they beg for mercy. Here are some nice quotes from Jefferson and Madison about America and religion. The doesn't mean that NONE of the founders wanted American to be a 'christen nation' but it's pretty clear that the man who wrote the declaration of independence and that father of the US constitution didn't. I've bolded the better quotes. For what it's worth Jefferson created a version of the bible, called the Jefferson bible that had ALL references to miracles and the supernatural removed from the account of Jesus's life. Madison thought the office of Congressional chaplain was a violation of the separation of church and state and opposed it. Feel free to include me on the mailing list.

A. Thomas Jefferson wrote: ← ↑ →
3rd President (1801-1809)
· “The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God.” · “The serious enemies are the priests of the different religious sects to whose spells on the human mind its improvement is ominous.”
· “I join you [John Adams], therefore, in sincere congratulations that this den of the priesthood is at length broken up, and that a Protestant Popedom is no longer to disgrace the American history and character.”
· “In every country and in every age the priest [any and every clergyman] has been hostile to liberty; he is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own.”
· “I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in our particular superstition [Christianity] one redeeming feature. They are all alike, founded upon fables and mythologies.” · “His [Calvin's] religion was demonism. If ever man worshiped a false God, he did.”
· “Their [Presbyterian’s] ambition and tyranny would tolerate no rival if they had power.”
· “It is not to be understood that I am with him [Jesus] in all his doctrines. I am a Materialist.”
· “It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.” · “If by religion, we are to understand sectarian dogmas, in which no two of them agree, then your [John Adams’] exclamation on that hypothesis is just, ‘that this would be the best of worlds if there were no religion in it’.”
· Christianity neither is, nor ever was apart of the common law. Feb. 10, 1814 · “Christian creeds and doctrines, the clergy's own fatal inventions, through all the ages has made of Christendom a slaughterhouse, and divided it into sects of inextinguishable hatred for one another.” (Letter to Thomas Whittemore, June 5, 1822)
· In support of Thomas Paine:
o “No writer has exceeded Paine in ease and familiarity of style, in perspicuity of expression, happiness of elucidation, and in simple and unassuming language.”
o “That you may live long to continue your useful labors, and reap the reward in the thankfulness of nations, is my sincere prayer. Accept the assurances of my high esteem and affectionate attachment.” (letter to Thomas Paine written after publication of Age of Reason)


B. James Madison wrote: ← ↑ →
The 4th President (1809-1817) feared organized religion. Quotations here excerpted from James Madison on Religious Liberty edited by Robert S. Alley, ISBN 0-87975-298-X.
· “During almost fifteen centuries, the legal establishment of Christianity has been on trial. What have been the fruits of this trial? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; and in both, clergy and laity, superstition, bigotry and persecution.” (Speech to the General Assembly of Virginia, 1785)
· From a document in Madison’s own hand and re-published in the William and Mary Quarterly of October 1946.
o “The danger of silent accumulations & encroachments by Ecclesiastical Bodies have not sufficiently engaged attention in the U.S.”
o “Strongly guarded as is the separation between Religion & Govt in the Constitution of the United States the danger of encroachment by Ecclesiastical Bodies, my be illustrated by precedents already furnished in their shorty history.”
o “But besides the danger of a direct mixture of Religion & the civil Government, there is an evil which ought to be guarded agst in the indefinite accumulation of property from the capacity of holding it in perpetuity by ecclesiastical corporations. The power of all coprporations , ought to be limited in this respect. The growing wealth acuired by them never fails to be a source of abuses.”
o “Are the U.S. duly awake to the tendency of the precedents they are establishing, in the multiplied incorporations of Religious Congregations with the faculty of acquiring & holding property real as well as personal? Do not many of these acts [of Congress] give this faculty, without limit either as to time or as to amount? Ad must not bodies, perpetual in their existtence, and which may be always gaining without ever losing, speedily gain more than is useful, and in time more than is safe?”
o “Is the appointment of Chaplains to the two Houses of Congress consistent with the Constitution, and with the pure principle of religious freedom? In strictness the answer on both points must be in the negative. The Constitution of the U.S. forbids everything like an establishment of a national religion. The law appointing Chaplains establishes a religious worship for the national representatives, to be performed by Ministers of religion, elected by a majority of them; and these are to be paid out of the national taqxes.”
o “The establishment of the chaplainship to Cong[res]s is a palpable violation of equal rights, as well as of Constitutional principles: The tenets of the chaplains elected [by the majority] shut the door of worship agst the members whose creeds & consciences forbid a participation in that of the majority.” o If Religion consist in voluntary acts of individuals, singly, or voluntarily associaated, and it be proper that public functionaries, as well as their Constituents should discharge their religious duties, let them like their Constituents, do so at t heir own expense.”
o “Better also to disarm in the same way, the precedent of Chaplainships for the army and navy, than erect them into a political authority in matters of religion.”
o “Religious proclamations by the Executive recommending thanksgivings & fasts are shoots from the same root with the legislative acts reviewed. Altho’ recommendations only, they imply a religious agency, making no part of the trust delegated to political rulers.”

New U.S. Dollar Coin Controversy(?)

So here's the set-up. I get one of those mass forwards from some obscure relative that somehow obtained my e-mail address. Every e-mail I get from him is either some stupid joke or one of those "the sky is falling, so send this to everyone you know" e-mails.
Here's his latest forward:

Please politely refuse if given one of these new coins and ask for a paper bill instead.
Let's stand together on this!

U.S. You guessed it 'IN GOD WE TRUST' IS GONE!!! Government to Release New Dollar Coins If ever there was a reason to boycott some thing, THIS IS IT!!!! DO NOT ACCEPT THE NEW DOLLAR COINS AS CHANGE Together we can force them out of circulation. Please send to all on your mailing list !!!

Well, I thought it was a little strange that the U.S. Mint would covertly remove "In God We Trust" from coinage, so I did a little research. Turns out, all the traditional mottos will be added to the edge of each coin using a new lettering system. Here's what it says on the U.S. Mint website:
In order to revitalize the design of United States coinage and return circulating coinage to its position as not only a necessary means of exchange in commerce, but also as an object of aesthetic beauty in its own right, it is appropriate to move many of the mottos and emblems, the inscription of the year, and the so-called "mint marks" that currently appear on the 2 faces of each circulating coin to the edge of the coin, which would allow larger and more dramatic artwork on the coins reminiscent of the so-called "Golden Age of Coinage" in the United States...

So, not thinking about the dullards who would receive my response, I hit "reply all" and said this:

There's no need to boycott the new dollar coins that will be in
circulation.

The words "In God We Trust" will appear on THE EDGE OF EACH COIN. The
U.S. Mint is using a new process called Edge-Incused Lettering.

I then received this e-mail from some yay-who from (presumably) the Thumb:

I just have to ask this question:  Why was it necessary to place the
words "In God We Trust" on the SIDE of the new $1 coin, when these words
have been on the FACE of our coins since the 1930's?  The only answer
that makes sense to me is to ensure that they will not be seen nor read.

So, do I pull a 'Cohort' and get involved in a vicious e-mail discussion with some blockhead? Or do I just ignore this guy and hope he turns up in next year's Darwin Awards? A little help from the Spoonhouse please...

I just had a two hour erection

And I named it "Transformers".

Jiminy christmas that movie was fucking awesome. The actor that played Sam I didn't hate as much as I thought I would. He could deliver his jokes and they didn't really sound corny. The visuals were amazing of course, and the actual transformations were awesome. There were only two things that I didn't like: the scene in the middle where they were looking for the glasses wasentirely too long and corny, and the fact that Michael Bay directed it. He tends to use a lot of fast cuts and shaky cams that just make it confusing for me visually - the screen shakes so much during the action scenes that it's hard to keep track of what's going on, who's fighting who, etc. Especially since all of thetransformers that weren't main characters were all frigging silver. Did Starscream die? I couldn't tell.

However much GM paid to have all the autobots be GM cars, it's a bargain at twice the price. They got so much screen time, I feel like buying a new car in the hopes that it will transform.

Now I can't wait to get out of Shitsinnati and back home so I can watch the old movie. Man, that was a good movie. Anything that can make Bumblebee look good is going to rock. That's like making a movie out of our lives, and I'm Keith Richards. If the worst you've got is Keith Richards, everyone else is going to ROCK ASS.

Simpsonize Yourself

Ever wonder what you'd look like if Matt Groening put you in a Simpson's episode?
Check this out: Simpsonizeme

Here's what Simon and Cohort would look like:
(notice the piss puddles around his feet... presumably from Cohort)

Redneck Engineering.

I'm speechless...what the HELL is wrong with people?

Nokia E70!

Maddox

It's been awhile since Maddox has updated his site, but it's been worth the wait.

Soap and Water, Stupid!

This comic is SO true.

Spoonhouse vows of friendship

If living by the following "rules" makes you a good friend, then I guess McMinn is the best friend I've got.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.

Friendship is like peeing your pants,
everyone can see it,
But only you can feel the true warmth.

Redneck Yacht Club

Only in Texas...
Due to the recent torrential rains down here in TX, many of the reservoirs are well above conservation pool. That means that water is rushing over the spillways, like man-made waterfalls. Check out these idiots who think that a 30-foot drop off a (restricted area, mind you) spillway in Lake Lewisville is a good idea.
You'd think that severe internal trauma and shattered clavicles would be punishment enough for their stupidity, but no... that were also written citations by law enforcement for reckless operation of a PWC and entering a restricted area.

Wow,

Transformers has been out for about two weeks now and no one has said anything about it. I just saw it last night and I thought it was bad ass. I'm going to see it again tonight or tomorrow. I've decided that I'm not listening to critics anymore because they don't know anything and they always bash your hopes going in to a movie, making you wonder if it really will suck. I think critics suck. So what if the movie didn't have an intricate plot full of contradictions and turns at every scene? I hate movies that make you think. I have to think all day at work, I don't want to sit down for another 2.5 hours thinking and musing over a stupid plot that all gets worked out in the end anyway. What's the point? I liked the cheesy dialogue of the movie, the bare bones plot (how intricate do you need to get? It's robots that turn into cars, Jesus cut them a break), and Megan Fox looked like she wanted to be bukkaked in every scene. Everyone needs to go to hell, Transformers ruled, I hope there's a sequel someday.

Read a book! Read a book!

Read a mother fucking book!

Too Far

The Rate My things has gone too far. Rate my TURBAN!!!

I don't get it. I just don't get it.

Update: The site has links on how to tie a turban. This is cool. I know how Simon loves to try new fashions. Remember when he was into his Chinese phase and wore those creepy pajama's everywhere?

Simon Said this is funny

But he won't post it himself. No idea why.

Slowly But Surely.

I've just recently started working on my Eclipse, one part at a time. Eventually I want the car to defy its age. It's four years old but I want it to look like it's only a year old. So I started with minor modifications under the hood, like the cold air intake, PCV valve, and painting some of the parts. Right now I only had time to paint some of the brackets holding the throttle cable on, a litte heat shield, the battery mounting bracket, and the fuse box bracket. Also another cheap "mod" that's easy to do and looks good is put colored split tubing wherever you can.


Next on the to-do list:

Paint - Upper radiator brackets, hood prop, brake calipers, and do something about that bastard exhaust shield.

Replacement - Brake pads and rotors (slotted if I can afford them) upper and lower radiator hoses, and any visible nuts & bolts that are corroded/rusty.

Gaze upon your future ruler...

"...To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women."

Bound to Happen

The GF bought a house in Flint, near Kettering University about a month ago. Property in Flint is pretty damn cheep and she's fixing it up to rent to students because there's a serious shortage of housing on campus. But the inevitable happened last night, someone broke in and stole a bunch of crap. Mostly tools but some other stuff too, they left the work lights and shopvac but took the $2 wax rings for the crappers. They got in through a window in front of the house, our thoughts is that it was someone who lives in the neighborhood, maybe even the PWT slimeball that lives next door (4 cars, 2 of them run and he routinely scrapes the orange tow sticker from the one on the street.) So I'm thinking that once all the construction is done in the house that I go through and do a security upgrade, nothing seriously expensive, good locks on the doors and windows, a deadbolt plate on all the doors, motion sensors for lights above the front and rear door and an ADT sign. Also going to try and find someplace that sells security laminate for the windows, a'la It takes a Thief. So far, the only place to buy the stuff off the net that I have been able to find doesn't sell it in the thickness necessary to stop a smash and grab. Any ideas that might actually work would be appreciated.

The wave machine.

Here's my first job done in Inventor. It uses the motion of the waves to push the barrel up and down, which causes a shaft to turn which can be hooked to a generator to produce free energy. It probably won't work but it was fun making it.

Who does this remind you of?

Oddly enough they didn't ask about penis size.

Otherwise the number would be a lot higher.

$4440.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth

Mingle² -

How much are you worth?

72 year old Ex-Marine, Retired Steel Worker, Golden Glove Boxer

Punches the fuck out of a pick-pocket because he "... wouldn't want my wife to give me hell for lettin' that guy get my money,"

His wife must be one mean ass lady. No disrespect intended.

much better

Mingle² - Online Dating

thanks for the hard work CM.

In an effort to make our blog more rated R.

Fuck old people and lottery tickets. Yesterday some nasty old gross lady with facial hair and liver spots was tying up the line at the party store because she had to buy 100 dollars worth of bitch-ass lottery tickets. You fucking grimey whore, you're not going to win the lottery. Just go back to your stupid trailer park and rot in a waterfall of your own vomit. I wish I was that guy hacking away with the fucking chainsaw, and that guy being hacked away was an almalgamation of every dickhead who couldn't figure out how the gas pump works at the gas station. Bloody monkey dicks.

This is unacceptable.

Look, PG-13 is a crap rating. We either need to clean it up and get a G rating or stir some shit up and get an R. What the hell do we have cohort for anyway?