Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Yay for the new portable Lake Superior.

I retract everything good I ever said about the Cobalt. This car sucks, and everyone at GM should be impaled on an elephant dick. I can understand them making a whole new car, and a whole new platform, and having its minor problems. Not a big deal, but when you have Lake Superior forming in your trunk, then there's reason to worry. Somewhere there's a hole in my trunk, and now it collects water in the spare tire well everytime I drive it in a rainstorm. I was always wondering why my back seat was perpetually wet, but then I discovered that there's about 6 inches of standing water in my trunk. Spare tire is flooded, jack is flooded, battery is flooded, and all the carpeting and foam is ruined. Now, every time I hit the brakes the water comes rushing in and soaks my back seat. I figured with all this sweet technology in the 21st century, GM would have been able to design a car that was fully sealed up. Fuck that and fuck the Cobalt and fuck GM. I hope everyone employed there dies.

33 Comments:

Blogger Garble said...

If it's still under warranty you should take it in. Otherwise i can give you some pointers on how to find and fix the problem

29/3/06 20:57  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

It's due for fixing this coming Monday. Which will make for a grand total of having it in the shop 3 times in 16,000 miles.

29/3/06 21:41  
Blogger Garble said...

Three times is a lot. what were the other two problems? When I had the s10 it only had 4 things go wrong the entire time I owned it. Now, it was a wheel bearing, 4 wheel drive encoder and U-joint, so they were big things. It's really up to the dealership what sort of comps you get. The cobalt's been doing really well in warranty compared to the camry.

30/3/06 05:13  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

30/3/06 05:30  
Blogger Garble said...

Simon, cars are NOT designed to break. Cars are designed to last as long as possible for the price.

30/3/06 07:23  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

The first incident was a recall, because there was something wrong with the air conditioner. Which sucks by the way, a bucket of ice with a fan blowing over it would be more practical. The second was the seatbelt retractors quit working, so they flopped around like Simon's limp dick. I've been noticing some other problems too. When I turn the heater on, the blower rattles like hell. It's been stalling out lately, but that's probably because the battery is in the trunk and the trunk is about 10 miles below sea level, so I'm guessing it's shorting out. I don't know what the longevity of brakes are, but the fronts started going out at 14,000 miles. Also, I think my left front strut is going bad, because there's oil around the outside of it and it squeaks like a motherfucker when I hit a bump. Anyway, the car was fun for about 5,000 miles. Time to get rid of it and move on to something non GM. Anyone want to take over my lease payments?? It's so cheap you'll think you stole it.

30/3/06 07:34  
Blogger Garble said...

it's really disapointing there's that much wrong with it. I was thinking of getting one. I wonder what the warranty costs on it are?

30/3/06 07:41  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Car companies make cars to last as long as they can for the money! HA HA HA Seriously, that's hilarious. You kill me Garb. he he

30/3/06 07:58  
Blogger Garble said...

Nice grasp of economics B.

30/3/06 08:50  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

All I'm saying is I don't believe that the auto industry makes cars as well as they could. Because if they made a car that lasted forever...no one would buy new ones. Hence, they don't make anymore money. So the driving force is to make money. Not put out high quality product. They put out a product that is "acceptable." Kinda like getting a "B-" on a test. And I know the whole point IS to make money. Everyone wants money. But I also think anyone who thinks they give a shit if Cohort's trunk leaks is crazy.

30/3/06 09:39  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

It could very well be Briggs, but my driving doesn't affect my trunk. Let's burn GM down.

30/3/06 10:48  
Blogger Garble said...

Car companies make products that people will pay for. Competition keeps everyone honest. Quality isn’t up to the company; it’s up to the consumer. If someone could make a car for 20k that lasts forever they would do so and put everyone else out of business. But it’s not possible. So we make the best car we can for the price people will pay. If people paid more they’d get more. I am sorry that Cohort got a lemon. I looked up the JD-Power Scores on the Cobalt and it’s doing really well.

30/3/06 11:08  
Blogger Garble said...

Actually simon, if you'd just stop using Park inseat of the brake pedal you'd do a lot better. It would also be a good idea to stop driving on the expressway in 2nd gear.

30/3/06 11:52  
Blogger Garble said...

But aren't flat beds cars also? Maybe you should get some horses.

30/3/06 12:45  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Yeah! Some clydesdales, like the ones on Budweiser commercials. Or firemares, like from Krull.

30/3/06 12:53  
Blogger NDammitt said...

I still have trouble reconciling the fact that if they are so inclined, the car company can locate where you are through satilite positioning. And they sell this as a good thing? I'm also not a fan of the ECU's that record everything the car is doing for however long before an accident. Not that I'm a ludite, or anything, technology is good (I like my xbox thank you vwery much) but those "conviences" constitute an invasion of my privacy.

30/3/06 14:11  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

You know what I think is funny? I saw an advertisement at the dealership for OnStar, and it was saying that OnStar helped people diagnose over 24,000 vehicle problems in the last month. Why the hell would you want the general public to know that your vehicles have over 24,000 problems per month? I can tell you that my Cobalt is already up that close.

30/3/06 16:01  
Blogger Garble said...

Diego, Welcome to da house. I accept your premis but your logic is flawed. Repeat biz is valuable. Therefore there's a lot of profit to be made by keeping the customer happy. Warratny costs get a LOT of a attention and car companies put a lot of resources into fixing quality problems.

31/3/06 03:44  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

I think dealerships are notorious for treating the customer like shit after the money has been spent more so than the actual auto company. I'm wondering if the focus these days should be spent on restructuring the dealerships more so than the auto company. I mean, how are the auto makers supposed to sell cars when their dealers act like dicks to the customer. Just a thought.

31/3/06 05:17  
Blogger Garble said...

Most state's have laws that ban auto companies from selling directly to consumers. GM tried to get around that a few years age with the internet and it was a no go. Just to be clear: Auto manufactures would LOVE To ship the car directly to your driveway and cut the dealership out of the deal. It would save you a LOT of money on the price of a car. So we'd sell more cars. There's not a lot we can do to control dealerships. If they suck, we look bad. When I was shopping for the Trailblazer we looked at an impala in the showroom and the passenger side A-pillar trim was half falling off of the A-pillar. I pointed it out the salesman who told me: "Oh we must have done some work to that, I'll tell service tonight. No big deal." How the hell do you put a car in your showroom that's not perfect? At least three employees had to touch that car to get it there and NO ONE pointed this out?! When a customer brings it to your attention you blow them off and imply that it’s not an issue? fuckers

31/3/06 06:35  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

Exactly JTB, just look at the smokin' deal you got on your car, why the fuck would you want to pay a million dollars for a brand new one. You got an entire vehicle to drive for what you would have lost in the depreciation of a new car.

31/3/06 07:46  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Now I just have to find Katie a smokin deal like that! She wants a PT cruiser. Her Grandparents have one with low miles they are getting rid of. And since they are millionaires think I can talk them down to nothing!

31/3/06 08:02  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Long live the 2nd generation Eclipse Spyder GS-T. Also, I'm taking my bike to work from now on. Screw new vehicles.

31/3/06 18:52  
Blogger Garble said...

D, What was wrong with your car? Why did you go tow world headquarters? They're probably not the people best able to help you. As for the eclipse, not exactly renowned for it's stellar quality.

1/4/06 08:52  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

As for the Eclipse, at least it was fun to drive and a major head turner. It may not have been the BEST quality vehicle on the road, but at least the fucking trunk wasn't an all inclusive getaway vacation to a waterfront resort. The Eclipse is king and I'll never trade another one as long as I live.

1/4/06 09:50  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Also, for the life my Eclipse went through, it held up well. The Cobalt with the same abuse would have disintegrated at 30,000 miles guaranteed. Not too mention the sweet twist-axle rear suspension in the Cobalt, that thing handles turns really well. I can almost hit the S-turns on North Holly and Elliott at 70mph. Not bad for a piece of shit, but my Spyder on the other hand did it at 95mph, without even a hint of the rear end breaking loose, all thanks to the awesome IRS. So suck a dick Cobalt/GM.

1/4/06 10:03  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

The only reason Eclipses ever turned my head is because I was turning to see what the GIRL looked like behind the wheel. ha ha

1/4/06 10:58  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

You're just jealous because it took you this long to get a car with four inflated tires.

1/4/06 16:09  
Blogger Garble said...

The eclipse is pretty well known as a chick car. But who cares. It was cool looking and that trim level has a good suspension. Don't sweat it cobalt. I know lots of guys that like cars associated with women.

1/4/06 16:13  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Who cares if the car is associated with women? Over 60% percent of 2nd gen Eclipse owners were women. But, as long as you drive an Eclipse, you'll get pussy. Nobody's asked me if they could give me head for a ride in the Cobalt.

1/4/06 20:13  
Blogger Garble said...

I thint this post wins the Most comments award.

2/4/06 08:42  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

I think this post shatters the old # of comments record, which was somewhere in the 30's.

As I am dropping my two cents belatedly, I will just say this: Planned Obsolescence.

Also, I think it's hilarious that Jack and Diego won't say the four letter "F" word (company) by name.

Finally, buying a used and well-maintained vehicle from somebody you know is the ONLY way to go. I just purchased a 1993 extended cab chevy pickup from Grandpa Brannick. 44,000 miles, original tires, and totally spotless. Pictures to follow.

3/4/06 08:25  
Blogger Garble said...

Planned Obsolescence in the auto industry is accomplished by creating a better product that comes out a few years later. Most cars today will last for 7+ years (90k miles) with regular maintenance and minimum repair. Car companies create a new product to come out with new features and styling sooner than that so people will buy new cars more often than they need to. Examples: Jack had a ford pickup for many years that kept going despite his repair schedule. My old Vibe had 60k miles and never had any problems. My pickup had 80k miles and didn’t need excessive repair.
A well maintained used vehicle is usually a much better value then a new car.
Note: Minimum doesn’t necessarily mean NO Repair.

3/4/06 08:55  

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