Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Vote Smart in 2012

Having trouble deciding which presidential candidate to vote for!? Then try this simple website! Just answer a string of simple yes/no questions and 'bang' there you have it, insta candidate!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

World of Warcraft Blocked...

I'm not a fan of WOW but I can imagine that this would suck balls. Imagine how pissed we'd all be back in the days of relentlessly playing NWN on the BadLandsRPG server. The horror!

Lessons learned.

It's been a few years since I've posted here (or anyone really) and in those years you find yourself maturing and growing up, at least a little bit anyway. Everyone used to post their "boring" house stuff and I would post about puckered anuses and Hillary Duff's canyoney twat. But now I'm going to be joining you guys in the "boring" house stuff. I am a homeowner (well, home renter, fuck mortgages) and the first thing I learned is how to clean toilets. Yup, I got the scrub brush, Iron Out, rags, and made that thing sparkle. Hell, I even "shaved" it as Simon so eloquently puts it. It's like my toilet went out to a dog grooming place... but for toilets.

After bouncing around from apartment to apartment over the years it's nice to finally have a real house. I even made a life upgrade too, I'm no longer living with another guy, but my girlfriend now. No homo. So after all that rambling here are some pics of our house:

Did I mention it's on a lake? I told you Garble, I'd get out of Holly one of these days if it kills me. I'm now in White Lake. I guess that's it for now, peace.

Oh, and for old time's sake: I rule, you're all gay.

Gittin' Drunk

Reminds me of Garble back in his power cord cutting days. Drunk Dude

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Mullet on Trial for Beard and Hair Cutting....

Even I can't make shit like this up. Mullet

Ahh the Spoonhouse

So many good times were had here, and now through the magic of time we are old and boring and no one posts much here any more. Hell, I barely remember how to write (not that I was any good before, but some times a nugget of comedy would slip out of the dumpster known as my brain). Who wants to re-launch Spoonhouse with me?? No one?

Monday, June 11, 2012

Destructive Fat as a super power

Inspired by Simon's last post...

Level 1 Destructive Fat: You break things you sit on, older building will crumble when you approach and you get a bonus to stealth because people will pretend not to see you.

Level 2 Destructive Fat: You are an immovable object. 2nd story building will crumble if you do Zumba

Level 3 Destructive Fat: You can’t really do Zumba, but if you try hard enough it will have a notable effect on whatever techtonic plate is weaping under your bulk.

Level 4 Destructive Fat: Your fat is so dangerous that it will cause ruin and mayhem even after your death.

Level 5 Destructive Fat: You have become the Platonic Ideal of “fat” and even thinking about cavernous folds destroys mortal minds.

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Dead Womans Fat Sets Creamatorium on Fire

Monday, January 23, 2012

Sex for Nuggets.

A woman was arrested after she allegedly offered sexual favors at a McDonald's drive-thru (where?) in exchange for Chicken McNuggets (find the recipe). The woman reportedly went to the cars in line and made the proposition. A man told police she approached him, and she was arrested on site

Sex for Nuggets

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.
According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specific case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest. Dead Serious News

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