GEEKS!
This morning over coffee I found the Geek Hierarchy, the Geek Hierarchy 2.0, and an associated FAQ. I took a copy of the larger chart (2.0) and placed the members of the spoonhouse on there to the best of my knowledge. Using it I declare that Simon is the least Geeky and Jack and NDAMMIT are the most geeky. I'm the most diversified geek.
UPDATE: I forgot Cohort Mandibles. I’m sincerely sorry about that and hope no one perceives it as an attack. It was never my intention to deny him personhood or try to exclude him from the online community that we’ve created. We all love him for who and what he is; one of god’s very special creations.
posted by Garble at 3:53 AM
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14 Comments:
Just a cursory glance at that chart explains why Simon is "least geeky". Many of the boxes require reading of some sort, and since the longest thing Simon has ever read was the back of the toothpaste tube whilst sitting on the commode, most of the boxes don't apply to him. Thus, if mild illiteracy denotes coolness, I'd say that most of the Spoonhouse couldn't hold a candle to the folks over at Hawaiian Gardens.
Also, why isn't Cohort anywhere on that chart?
I don't count as a person. I guess I'm not cool enough... or geeky enough. Maybe if I practice my Klingon religiously then I'll have a shot at getting on Garble's prestigious dork chart.
I didn't realize length of material was directly related to literacy. Strange, you learn something new everyday here.
You know, I was a little afraid before I posted this that I’d hurt someone’s feelings. I just didn’t think it would be cohort. In the interest of making him feel better I’ll add him to the chart. Maybe Simon can give him a hug or something.
Jim, you’re right that literacy is typically a prerequisite for being a geek.
There, now it's updated. Feel free to correct any mistakes I've made. If you're a furry, feel free to step up and claim it.
My reply was supposed to be sarcasm. It's hard to decode that through text.
Grable, you're such a liar. Since when did you start worrying about hurting people's feelings.
And Simon:
Yes, it's true, length of material IS directly related to literacy. Anybody with a little kid knows that- books with pictures and just a few words progressing to fewer pictures and full sentences, and so on. But maybe you were just getting defensive because you perceived that I said you were illiterate, when, in actuality, I implied that people living in trailer parks are illiterate. Don't be so sensitive.
I have to jump to Simon’s defense. I thought you were saying that he was both illiterate and trailer folk.
Cohort, feel free to let your emotions out. There’s no need to deny your pain. No one here will judge you for being a sensitive soul.
Yes, yes, the gut-wrenching agony. The pain of a thousand fiery souls being torchered mercilessly in my heart. Is there no remorse in this world for a lost and forboded Cohort? Please someone from the heavens, end this reign of terror that has beseiged my soul. Why-oh-why was I originally omitted from the dork chart? I can't breathe another breath! Someone please help me!!!!!!
I didn't see the part about being a "furry". I'll take that!
Simon, do you know what a furry is?
Is it a patch of pubes?
LOL, yeah!
Cohort said he feels feelings. I win.
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