Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Cohort's "To-Do" List

1. Take your friend to the bar and leave him or her there at the end of the night. Twice.

2. Put a pint of chocolate milk in someone's locker and Masterlock it shut.

3. Dump a gallon of McDonald's fry grease over someone's truck windows.

4. Go to a sand pit to fornicate with a girl and laugh at her when she falls in a hole and breaks her ankle.

5. Duct tape a flannel shirt to your dog and roll it down a hill in a garbage can.

6. Hit a girl in the stomach with an air hockey puck on your first date. Just to see what will happen.

7. Cuss out an old lady who's trying to wipe the snow off your car windows.

8. Put a live hornet's nest in a garbage bag and leave the bag in someone's truck as a "present".

9. Make ice cubes out of toilet water, then offer to make your guests an ice cold drink.

10. Telling a handicapped person they're useless and that malls shouldn't have wheelchair ramps.


P.S.
I forgot to add one to the list.
11. Shut the lights off in a crowded public bathroom when you exit, then wait intently for the ensuing panic and confusion.
I did that one to Jack at Kickers and he got pissed. Too bad there weren't more people in the bathroom at the time.

6 Comments:

Blogger Simon Hawk said...

Don't forget "Telling your friend that you'll pick him up at the gas station because he's out of gas and has no money, but forgetting about him because you fell asleep." Oh wait, that really happened. HAHA, he deserved it anyways.

10/1/07 10:22  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Haha that was awesome. I completely forgot about that.

10/1/07 10:24  
Blogger Garble said...

Number 9 made me laugh

10/1/07 11:51  
Blogger Garble said...

This should be retitled: Things to do in Holly when you're young, dum, and full of rum

10/1/07 11:52  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Change it if you want. It looks like someone took the liberty of doing so already.

10/1/07 11:56  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who laughed at number 9.

This list is slightly better as Cohorts "To Do" list, than the previous title.

10/1/07 11:58  

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