Stupid football.

I keep hearing more and more about this looming football game between Ohio State and Michigan. Apparently this is a big deal because everyone and their brother plus all of their cousins are talking about it like it's the most important thing to happen in a decade. What? There's a cure for cancer coming out soon, JFK's assassin was found, and fossilized amber has given us the means to time travel? Nevermind that, we have a game to watch. It's funny how far people will take this rivalry thing. For example, there's already been numerous commercials on the radio about how Ohio's school is for sub-average students and their cheerleaders are promiscuous tramps. But what does this have to do with football? You'd think they would be making slanderous comments to the players, not everyone else. Who would have though that a few morons throwing a ball around would create so much animosity? The cool thing that I've noticed so far is that with other rivalries, if the opposing team wins while not at home, then mass destruction runs rampant. Riots ensue and fanboys burn other fanboys down, shooting takes place in the parking lot, bleachers are strewn about haphazardly, and there's always that one pouty asshole who angrily throws his cup of pop out onto the field. It kind of reminds me of the NES game Rampage. Except Rampage had monsters and it would always lock up if there was too much stuff going on. So all in all, I guess the only positive thing that comes out of football is the violent eruptions of thousands of fans afterward. I wouldn't mind sitting down with a bag of Funyuns and watching a post-game riot. So, for me, I hope Ohio plays here, and Michigan loses hardcore. I like seeing everyone being so distraught over nothing that their lives come to an immediate hault and suicide becomes imminent. Go Ohio! For the sole reason of pissing off thousands of uppity fans!