Words words and more words

Kyle has a blog post that says funny things about the differences between men and women. This completely new area of analysis and commentary could possibly lead to a host of things; movies, books, maybe even magazine articles that women could read to better understand what motivates their man or that men could read to attract women. It’s almost like Men and women are from two different planets.

Okay, so it’s not ground breaking. But it entertained me. My favorite part was when he explained that men will pretty much do whatever we want whether our wives are nearby or not. It’s not about getting away with anything. It’s just a matter of not having to listen to questions/nagging. The ‘best’ question my wife’s ever asked me was; “Don’t you think you should wait to get some help with that? I’m not saying that you don’t know what you’re doing but that looks heavy and you could fall.” I was hanging a 48x68 in picture high up on our 20 foot wall. The ladder was on top of the fireplace and to be honest, it wasn’t easy. But as soon she said that I realized that I was going to put that picture up come hell or high water.

It's burried in a larger post (my boy can type) so I've quotes the better bits.

Garble made a comment to the previous posting about women getting paranoid leaving the men home alone and I've been thinking about that. I think there may be a number of things contributing to it. First is my theory on relating between the sexes: All women are crazy and all men are assholes - it's just a question of degree. Whether this is true in some "objective" sense doesn't matter - men should remember to think of women as slightly crazy and women should remember to think of men as kind-of an asshole. Now, the crazy thing may be different between different women: you've got paranoia, obsessive, bi-polar, and all the fun stuff. The asshole thing is pretty straightforward though, it's just a matter of how much. Cause ladies, no matter how much he says he loves going shopping for shoes with you and your sister, he'd give an eye tooth to be home watching the game (or whatever his thing is: computers, woodworking, etc). Most guys of course will just say "I am not going shopping with you and your sister." He then will, of course, think about having sex with you and your sister. So with that being said, let's extrapolate to why women are nervous leaving men home alone. The women will believe that there is a sizeable chance the man will do something stupid, or at least change something without asking. Guys will think it's cool to rearrange the living room furniture to install that new kick-ass surround sound system and with her out of town, now's the perfect time. Knowing that guys are assholes, she will feel confident that if he feels like doing it, he will. Here's a secret though ladies: we'll do it anytime feel like it and have a couple of hours to figure out the optimal set up. You being gone doesn't factor in to it all that much - other than the fact we won't have to listen to you ask questions or complain while we lift something heavy. (See, I'm a guy and therefore an asshole.) The truth though ladies is that guys are also very lazy. Well OK, that's not quite true. We work damned hard most of the time and when we come home we just want to relax. So while you're gone we're probably taking a nap. Or working overtime. If we're going to so something that would seriously piss you off (cheat on you, burn the house down, tell your Mom about that time I nailed you at her birthday party - I mean, hypothetically), we're not gonna "bide our time until the moment is ripe". We're just gonna do it. So you can trust as much when you go away as when you're here.

These rules really only apply to married couples. A single guy (and until you take the vows you are single - being "exclusive" or "going steady" or "engaged" doesn't count) will do pretty much whatever he wants anyway. The only exception to this is if he has said, explicitly, that he won't - and I'm talking about a 30 page legal document detailing exactly what may or may not happen and penalties for each. Get it notarized too. Don't worry about what he'll think - remember, he already thinks you're crazy (see above) so this is just another thing. Nagging however, is always wrong. That's a sure way to make him go and do exactly what will piss you off (e.g. get a hooker, start drinking, nail your Mom at your birthday party - I mean, hypothetically).

I think that's enough relationship advice tonight. In conclusion, women don't trust men because they're crazy and we're assholes. In truth, any misbehavior on his part can happen at any time. I also think there might be something to the fact that wives see husbands as slightly larger children. This may be due to the fact that girls mature faster than boys and a twelve year old girl will see a twelve year old boy as childish (and she'd be right). The women then never truly grow out of it. This part of the theory needs more work though and I've got to give it some more thought.

Anyway, check out his latest blog post if you’re in the mood.