Friday, May 12, 2006

He-Man Was Gay

It’s pretty obvious that He-Man is gay so I won’t waste time writing about it, I’ll just quote the piece from slate and give you the link here.

"...Prince Adam, He-Man's alter ego, is a ripped Nordic pageboy with blinding teeth and sharply waxed eyebrows who spends lazy afternoons pampering his timid pet cat; he wears lavender stretch pants, furry purple Ugg boots, and a sleeveless pink blouse that clings like saran wrap to his pecs. To become He-Man, Adam harnesses what he calls "fabulous secret powers": His clothes fall off, his voice drops a full octave, his skin turns from vanilla to nut brown, his giant sword starts gushing energy, and he adopts a name so absurdly masculine it's redundant. Next, he typically runs around seizing space-wands with glowing knobs and fabulously straddling giant rockets. He hangs out with people called Fisto and Ram Man, and they all exchange wink-wink nudge-nudge dialogue: "I'd like to hear more about this hooded seed-man of yours!" "I feel the bony finger of Skeletor!" "Your assistance is required on Snake Mountain!" "

13 Comments:

Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Don't forget that he never ONCE made a pass at Teela. Definitelt GAY. Not like Link in the Zelda cartoons. His whole motivation for saving Hyrule was hosing Zelda.

12/5/06 11:08  
Blogger Garble said...

I used to watch He-Man when I was in 2nd grade. It's been so long since I saw an episode that I'd forget all the character's names except He-Man and skeletor. The slate article is pretty funny. Didn't they make a live action movie with Dolph Lundgrin?

12/5/06 11:12  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

I'm glad I wasn't old enough to witness that abomination. You're one a roll Gayble, two homo posts in a matter of a few hours.

12/5/06 11:15  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

LOL "hosing Zelda".

12/5/06 11:16  
Blogger Chico Salazar said...

gay? kay? es that like when two burritoes get together er somsin.

12/5/06 11:23  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Who is this guy? Are you really Mexican, pendaho??

12/5/06 11:26  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

Who's what guy Jack? Davis, I mean Chico?

12/5/06 11:33  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Ha ha. Finally got him to join up. He wanted to know how you guys got ahold of pics of his night job!

12/5/06 11:42  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

Welcome to the annoyance of Spoonhouse99 Chico.

It was only chance finding that picture.

12/5/06 11:46  
Blogger Garble said...

I guess it’s all about knowing your audience. Most of you don’t like cars, economics, politics, current events, business, or gas. But you seem to eat up homosexuals and cartoons. When I saw a story about He-Man being gay I figured you’d be on it like Jim on Myspace.

welcome chico by the way.

12/5/06 12:07  
Blogger Rootietoot said...

I want to know how Skeletor can say "He Man" without lips.

12/5/06 12:42  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

I wanna know how anyone can say "He Man" without laughing.

12/5/06 13:19  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

a couple points:

1.He-Man could obliterate Link.
2.Yes, Dolph played He-man in the live movie. He was chasing tail (female tail!) thru the whole flick.
3.Welcome, D-man. Glad you could join the gayness that has become the House.

on that note, why has the Spoonhouse spiraled into a brown void of homoness? Recall that the REAL Spoonhouse99 was a very heterosexual (and extremely awkward) situation.

13/5/06 06:15  

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