Anatomy of a jock

Legend:
1. Oafish, perplexed gaze: He just realized his shoes are untied an can do nothing to fix them.
2. Left brain hemisphere: Loose cheerleaders and BEER.
3. Right brain hemisphere: Tea-bagging in the locker room.
4. Football field: Area in which the guys pile up on top of each other, moving daintily up and down the field.
5. Hands: Appendages used in the locker room for grab-ass and picking up the soap.
6. Uncontrollable drool: Usually happens when the teacher discusses Dr. Suess books.