Wednesday, September 20, 2006

133I !$ |=(_)[x!/\/6 5+|_||^1|).

See? Upon reading that title you most likely thought to yourself, wow, this moron has probably been bludgeoned to the head by the lead pipe of incurable stupidity. What the hell is wrong with people on the Internet these days? I swear I’ve seen flooded septic fields that can yield higher intelligence quotients than the average Internet user. As if our vernacular wasn’t difficult enough, a group of idiots has to create “Leet speak”. Leet is a bastardized net language that rapes the cornea from visual contact, rendering the victim temporarily blinded and momentarily stupid. Here’s and example of Leet, then translated into our lost language of English:

Example: ! _/(_)$7 134|?/\/3|) vv#47 1337 /\/\34/\/5. <-- What the fuck is this??

Translation: I just learned what Leet means.

By staring intently at the example I can only conjure up one conclusion: fecal-shaped pixels arbitrarily placed to create a malformed, half-assed excuse for a sentence. Now how the hell are you supposed to read shit like this? The original intent was to create something easy, quick, and abbreviated so you can communicate faster over chat programs. What? How is this supposed to make life easier? I could just download a picture of a gorilla pinching off a steaming loaf into someone’s mouth, and then send it through a chat protocol. Same message, none of the typing. I’ve come to grips with reality in that Leet speak is the SOLE reason for the moronification of America. Parents are so worried about their kids’ being idiots (which is inevitable because kids are inherently stupid), so then why don’t they do something to stop this atrocity? The only way to stop this pandemic and properly educate kids is to burn down the Internet, kill off this generation of meatheads, then start all over again from scratch.

Note for the slow:
The title says “Leet is fucking stupid”.

7 Comments:

Blogger Matt McMinn said...

goodness gracious, where have you been? I've been making fun of leetspeak for years.

20/9/06 11:44  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Yes, but you're also years older than me. I've only recently been exposed to highspeed internet (a couple years ago) and now it just seems like it's exploded exponentially.

20/9/06 11:50  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

k0h0R7 4|\|d 51|\/|0|\| 4r3 94Y 8u77 L1cK3r2.

20/9/06 11:58  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Derr, somebody's hilarious today.

20/9/06 12:00  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

J1/\/\ 5m377z, |)3RR!

20/9/06 12:44  
Blogger Garble said...

Just think how pissed he's going to be when he notices that kids today wear their pants so low you can see their boxers!

21/9/06 03:24  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Derrrrrrr.

22/9/06 05:52  

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