Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Anyone want to buy a 1990 Eagle Talon Tsi?

I just called the insurance company, and I can't afford to put insurance on this thing. What a fucking ripoff. What a bunch of retarded horseshit. I hate this country and I hate insurance companies and they can all bend over and stick coal shovels up their asses. They want almost $100 per month for a 16 year old car with 191K miles on it! These insurance companies really have our dicks in a strangle hold these days! I hope someone drops a nuclear bomb on AAA's flaccid penis, then on Esurance's cornhole, then someone can come kill me if I haven't already committed suicide by touching my dick to an electric fence. Fuck this place and fuck you insurance.

45 Comments:

Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

I hope I die. Insurance is such a waste of time and money. It should be optional. I hope I get into a car accident and kill an innocent family with babies and small children.

20/6/06 11:20  
Blogger If I only had a brain... said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, life sucks. But $100 a month isn't bad for someone with 5 points.....

20/6/06 11:21  
Blogger If I only had a brain... said...

plus you'll have no car payment!

20/6/06 11:23  
Blogger If I only had a brain... said...

Fuck You, You'll never know....

20/6/06 11:27  
Blogger If I only had a brain... said...

Thats a BIG negative, try again...

20/6/06 11:31  
Blogger If I only had a brain... said...

Pretty close, ya know what, i'll hand it to ya. i am a friend of cohort, but which one?

20/6/06 11:37  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

Teletebbie?

20/6/06 11:39  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

It's obvious this kid goes to Baker College.

20/6/06 11:39  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

I don't have any friends from Blacker.

20/6/06 11:40  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Ha ha...you dumb fucker. I love it when Cohort gets fucked in the ass by reality. And who is this new asshole? I haven't been logging on because you idiots haven't been writing anything. I missed alot! (BTW, Cohort, you are really fucking stupid.)

20/6/06 11:41  
Blogger If I only had a brain... said...

Tebbe is the correct answer!

20/6/06 11:42  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

I'm stupid?? At least I can take care of my own shit, (i.e. boat) mow my lawn, make sure my toilet isn't running continuously (nice 700 dollar bill moron) and don't use piss-coated tarps to cover up the cat feces and garbage in my basement.

20/6/06 11:43  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

Either that or do some work!

20/6/06 11:47  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Cars rule. It's the waste of time and money insurance that bends everyone over. Think of all the stuff you could afford if you weren't sending you money to some shithead every month, just to turn around and pay AGAIN (deductible) when something bad happens. Fucking bullshit.

20/6/06 11:47  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

That may be...but I can insure 3 cars for what it costs you to insure one. So take a big ol' suck on my cock!

20/6/06 11:55  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Is that before or after you were laid off for a year and did nothing but sit in the dark and watch tv?

20/6/06 11:59  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

20/6/06 12:12  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

It was after. But don't knock it...that's all you do NOW. HEY! I've got an idea. Why don't you stop spending your money on pile-of-shit, japanese, chickmobiles...and use it to move out of mommy and daddy's house!

20/6/06 12:16  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Why bother just yet? Why would I want to spend $600 a month on an apartment, plus all the extras that go along with it? I'm still in college, it would be totally pointless. Plus, I don't have a secure enough job yet, but when I get that degree, then I'll have a much higher chance of getting a real job. So I think I'll just sit tight for awhile.

20/6/06 12:21  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

I've got to tell you, you're smarter than you look. And that reminds me... hey wait. Where did everyone else go?

20/6/06 12:24  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

They all pussed out.

20/6/06 12:26  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

It's too intense in here for the average schoolgirl

20/6/06 12:27  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Ohh go back to your nest mother hen.

20/6/06 12:29  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Pussies. Shit, I say just drive the fucker around. It was only a thousand bucks. Let's take it to MIS and blow it up on the race track!

20/6/06 12:33  
Blogger If I only had a brain... said...

i'll second that, at least get rid of it in a firey blaze!

20/6/06 12:35  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

I'm just taking it to MIS and driving it at redline in first gear until there's a nuclear meltdown. Then take a bulldozer courtesy of Bobcat and push it into a volcano, and then push the volcano into the ocean.

20/6/06 12:37  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Ok impulse city over there with your 3 thousand shitty snowmobiles you bought that never ended up working out. If I recall that shitty V-Max you bought cost more than that Talon. Suck a fucking dick, like you've never impulsed shopped before assclown. Remember that stupid Dodge you bought, or that stupid boat? Eat a condom.

20/6/06 12:45  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

You bitched and moaned every day like a woman on a 3 week continuous period after finding out her husband was cheating on her with the family pet. All day every day it was "bank account this, bank account that, damn this costs a lot, why did I even buy this??" Then you had to receive the talk from dad about wise money management. Don't even act all high and mighty like you're the king of the universe and of the 4th dimension and never been susceptible to bitching about money and funding. Fucking stagnant pool of sperm swimmer-iner.

20/6/06 12:55  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Also the phrase about never owning a turbo is false priest feeler, because I have the title to the Talon. So stop me if I'm wrong, but that's owning a turbo. Meathead.

20/6/06 12:58  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Also the phrase about never owning a turbo is false priest feeler, because I have the title to the Talon. So stop me if I'm wrong, but that's owning a turbo. Meathead.

20/6/06 12:58  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Whatever squirrel nuts. You couldn't afford an EVO if your life depended on it. It's too fast for you anyway. You can't seem to keep a '94 Work Truck on the road, and you sure as hell can't keep an EVO under control.

20/6/06 13:07  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

I suck?? Who in the hell hits a concrete post next to a gas pump?? Oh, wait a minute... All fingers are pointing to you asshead.

20/6/06 13:11  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

I'm taking the Shit-balt to the store for the sign. And I'll push the Talon down the road in neutral so I can put it on the corner.

20/6/06 13:12  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Typical rich yuppey. Has no skills, so he uses the endless wallet to cover his ass when he's being an idiot. I'll gladly take my mistake (at least I can get the money back) rather than spend, what was the deductible plus the increase in the premium?? Nevermind, I'm still coming out ahead of you.

20/6/06 13:16  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

So far this is the only impulse buy I had to let go of. Everything else I kept or have sold because I made a profit, not because I was too poor to afford it. While you're out old-manning it up on the lake, I think I'll take my new quad (which is faster than yours by the way) out for a spin, clean the Talon, then round off the night by taking the Cobalt out to the bar. BTW, your truck needs to have the oil pressure gauge looked at, have all the rust holes in the body fixed, the bottoms of the doors fixed, and have the grill remounted without bungee cords. Have fun.

20/6/06 13:24  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

To think THIS abortion of a thread is gonna take the record for longest. Two pathetic siblings having a big dick contest.

20/6/06 13:24  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

And don't forget the plastic cover on the tail gate!

20/6/06 13:26  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Oh right. You're a fucking idiot. Why do it when I can have you do it for me?

20/6/06 13:29  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Haha Jack you dumbass. Remember when I had to help you operate the cutting torch because you were too inept to do it yourself?

20/6/06 13:30  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

A.D.D. is kicking in.....ooo shiney..

20/6/06 13:31  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Let's not forget I'd never even USED one in my life! Like I'm just supposed to be born with the knowledge, fuckwad?!

20/6/06 13:34  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

you can't even get PL/PD for less than $100/month? Maybe you need a new insurance company.

As far as me being a "puss" and leaving this thread: I'm sorry, I was riveted to Garble & NDAmmitt's post on the Constitution. But then I realized that was a worthless bucket of pubes. However, after reading the previous 56 comments, I deem this thread a steaming pile of dingle-berries.

I'm off to start a new series called "Cohortus Mandiblus: The Lost Rants"

20/6/06 13:39  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Yeah...the whole thing was pretty pointless. But probably more fun to read than the droaning going on in Garble and ND's thread.

20/6/06 13:44  
Blogger NDammitt said...

Wow, this is stupid.

20/6/06 15:39  
Blogger Garble said...

Stupid, Hell this is funny. 2nd Best part, Cohort brags about driving 105 mph (with no insurgence) and wonders why they want 100$/mo to cover his ass.

20/6/06 18:31  

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