I'm off to Mexico!!!
This is quite hilarious... in a maddening sort of way.
Dear President Bush:
I’m about to plan a little trip with my family and extended
family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going
to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I
need to make a few arrangements.
I know you can help with this.
I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports,
immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those
things down there the same way you do here.
So, would you mind telling your buddy, El Presidente Vicente
Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will
be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services
I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and
history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top
of the flagpole at their school with the Mexican flag
flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast
and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get
easy access to government services.
9. In case any Mexican police officers do not get the memo
from El Presidente Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that
all police officers speak English.
10. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my housetop, put
American flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic American
celebration on July 4th.
I do not expect, nor will I appreciate, any complaints or
negative comments from Mexican 'nativists'.
11. Please tell all the people in Mexico to be extremely nice
and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I
might place on the Mexican economy.
I know this is an easy request, because you already do all
these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from
Mexico. I'm sure that El Presidente Fox won't mind returning
the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any
trouble, I suggest you invite him to go quail hunting with
your Vice President.
Thank you so much for your help.
Dear President Bush:
I’m about to plan a little trip with my family and extended
family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going
to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I
need to make a few arrangements.
I know you can help with this.
I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports,
immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those
things down there the same way you do here.
So, would you mind telling your buddy, El Presidente Vicente
Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will
be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services
I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and
history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top
of the flagpole at their school with the Mexican flag
flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast
and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get
easy access to government services.
9. In case any Mexican police officers do not get the memo
from El Presidente Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that
all police officers speak English.
10. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my housetop, put
American flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic American
celebration on July 4th.
I do not expect, nor will I appreciate, any complaints or
negative comments from Mexican 'nativists'.
11. Please tell all the people in Mexico to be extremely nice
and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I
might place on the Mexican economy.
I know this is an easy request, because you already do all
these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from
Mexico. I'm sure that El Presidente Fox won't mind returning
the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any
trouble, I suggest you invite him to go quail hunting with
your Vice President.
Thank you so much for your help.
posted by Jim Brannick at 8:05 AM
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17 Comments:
It's so true...that's why it's so infuriating! The "political correctness" and downright hypocricy of this country have reached rediculous levels. Funny thing is, everyone I know bitches about it, but nothing gets corrected. We're just on one big spiral shaped trip to the bottom of the shitter.
You're too sensitive Simon.
As for the Mexico bit:
The only way I can see to limit illegal immigration is to lower the demand for cheap, undocumented workers. The best way to do that is to fine companies the hire illegal workers. This would include not just construction companies and meat packing factories but farmers, lawn care and other service sector employers. The fine would need to be steep enough and enforcement strict enough to keep people from hiring illegal immigrants. It shouldn’t be too hard to structure. Nothing else is going to work.
As for the rest of the argument, It falls into either economics or culture.
Economically: I’m not convinced that illegal immigrants cost more than produce. Especially since the consumer (i.e. you and I) pocket the difference between what illegals cost and what you’d have to pay a white guy to do the same job.
Culturally I don’t give a damn. Last month there was a large celebration of a bizarre ethnic minority that resulted, as it does every year, in the consumption of fast amounts of alcohol. There was the usually social cost to this binge. DUI’s, brawls, etc. The festival celebrated the ethnic group’s long history of drunkenness, violence, and public disorder. But St. Patrick’s day is still a blast. I can’t wait until Cinco De Mayo.
(damn that was long)
What Hypocricy are you talking about jack?
What hypocricy? The fact that we let other races come in here and celebrate whatever the fuck they want, demand that we speak their language and adhere to their beliefs, and when we try to do the same WE'RE the ones who get frowned upon. (To say the least) Did you know I couldn't say, "Merry Christmas" to customers this year? I had to say, "Happy Holidays." That pisses me off. I dont mean it as disrespect. I'm not trampling someones beliefs when I say it. I simply want the person to know that I wish them the best during a season I thought was supposed to be rooted in peace, giving, happiness and all that shit.
The ‘Merry X-Mas/Happy Holliday’ fight seems to get a lot of people's blood boiling. Here's how I look at it. If I'm paying you to interact with the public then you’ll do it how I want you to. If you don’t like it I’ll find someone else to do your job. (it’s cold but their it is) I’m going to ask (tell) you to do whatever I think will make me the most money. Where I live in cheese land I heard Merry Christmas. But just about everyone is Lutheran so that makes sense. My point is that no one’s stopping you from saying what you like on your own time.
Well I have to admit, I have no retort. You are right. I am totally at the will of the corporate entity I work for. But it doesn't mean I have to like it. As far as politcal correctness, I only have so much say. And that REALLY pisses me off. The general public votes people into office, which in turn make or unmake laws that make it easier for minorities and other cultures to do what they are doing. So in a way...the state of this counrty is our own fault. But I do vote, so I can bitch about what I like and dislike.
Yeah, my response was pretty harsh. I just hear a lot of this sort of thing at work. Yeah, my response was pretty harsh. Sorry about that. I just hear a lot of this sort of thing at work and it annoys me. It’s funny to talk to a UAW repairman that’s famed for his lack of productivity and hear him bitch about how foreigners are hurting this country. I’m pretty sure that his lazy ass has done more damage to the USA than 10 illegal immigrants from south of the Rio Grande that just want to work hard and raise a family.
One thing to keep in mind on political correctness is that a lot of it isn’t done by the government. There’s no law prohibiting a private citizen from any sort of religious message they please. There’s no law stopping the display of Mohammad’s image. That was the decision of private citizens. Most PC noise is the decision of private citizens. Not the government. As far as voting…that’s the least you can do. Literally. The founders designed a participatory form of government. It takes a lot more than an annual vote for it to reflect your wishes. I’m not talking about money, time will go a long way.
I disagree with Garbs. I think that lazy UAW workers are great for the country, particularly the economy- mainly because they spend virtually every cent they make. It reminds me of the Dave Chapelle skit in which reparations were given to black people and they proceeded to blow all of it within days... and it was great for Wallstreet! On the other hand, many foreign immigrants (illegals AND legals) spend very little and send the rest back to support families in their native country. So, they use our products and services, but do very little to "give back".
On a lighter note... I'm rarely a member of the Grammar Police, but seriously Garble!
You don't have to be sorry about it being harsh! I know it's true. That's why I agreed with you. You're right, I think alot of the problems with this country are our own fault. I try NOT to contribute to them as much as possible.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Apologies about the semi-literacy of that last post. I started to proof read it and hit send before I was done. Oops.
Jim, Your point on the where the money is spent is mistaken. Money is meaningful only when it represents value. If a person is paid to do nothing (or over paid for what they do) it doesn’t matter if they spend the money, invest the money, or burn the money. One person doesn’t matter much in a trillion dollar economy but the cumulative effect of many similar people is meaningful. Here’s where I disagree with you.
The “lazy union guy” consumes more than he produces. Thus he’s a net drain on the economy. The loss will be most felt by his employer.
The “hard working wetback” produces more then he consumes, this is a net gain for the economy. The benefit will be felt either by his employer who through larger profit margins or the consumer through lower prices. That will be decided by competition. If everyone uses illegal immigrants then eventually competition will drive the price down to reflect the low cost of labor. This will of course lower the price of unskilled labor.
Simon, wow am I glad you’re unable to make rules. FYI I think this sort of conversation is fun. Much in the same way Jim likes to talk about fishing, Briggs likes to talk about guns and you like to talk about gay porn.
Simon, You're wrong.
Jack, We shouldn't judge Simom, who among doesn't like a nice dog and poney show every once in a while?
Ha ha ha. Sorry, had to lighten things up. I hate political debates but once in awhile I gotta chime in. You're right, I'm gonna be dumb the rest of the day.
P.S. NO YOU'RE GAY.
Well for the record, I thought it was funny as hell. But it is infuriating at the same time because it would NEVER happen. Garb has got to make everything SO serious.
In my own defense:
1. I think this thread of comments was much more fun then 4 people saying “Ha that’s lame. Nuke Canada.”
2. I’ve always overanalyzed things. Just because I analyze something doesn’t mean I’m emotionally invested/worked up.
3. Jack took it seriously first, and I responded to that.
4. We’re lucky that there are lots of choices between “Lazy UAW guy” and “Hardworking Immigrant” I think the best choice would be “hard working UAW guy.” I agree with you that there’s lots of variation. I was simplifying to save on space. Also, I wasn’t saying the immigrant was better. Just more efficient because they’re not paid as much. My comment pointed out what this would do long term.
5. I’m taking a couple of finance classes at the moment so I’m think about economics a lot.
Fun post though. I had a blast.
Don't forget:
6. You're gay.
Good Point.
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