Wednesday, September 13, 2006

culture of emasculation

Lately I seem to be blogging mostly based on stuff Kyle says. Oh well, it seems to work.

Anyway his guy movie thing has moved on to the
'culture of emasculation." Also called the pussification of the western male. I've blogged about that before, but fucking Simon got scared last January and deleted everything. (asshat) So some of this might be repeat.

His particular complaint are some
carl Jr. Commercials. Mine is a cheerios commercial. (it just bugs me. It bugged me before the essay, it bugs me now.)

So my question to the
spoonhuose: "What is your biggest anti-man pet peeve?"

and don't get too annoyed. White dudes still control like 95% of the worlds wealth. So lets not worry about it too much.

From Kyle's blog:
There's a chain of restaurants out here called "Carl's Jr.", who also own Hardee's
in the Midwest. They've run a number of different campaigns since we've been out here, but there's one in particular that applies here. Commercial one starts with a guy standing at the butcher counter in the supermarket. He just stands there staring for like ten seconds. Eventually a woman comes up, grabs a couple of steaks and walks away with the man staring after her. He slowly turns back to the meat selection and pokes the meat. They then cut away to a picture of a burger saying how good it is and then their tag "Carl's Jr: Without us, some guys would starve." Hey, fuck you. There's another one where the same guy is trying to fry eggs and every time he goes to crack one open, he smashes the crap out of it on the counter. He repeats this five or six times, then they cut away to the burger and have the same tag. Of course the guy is some shlub in a sweat jacket, unshaven, slack-jawed, and utterly confused. Implying, of course, that he cannot even attend to the most basic hygiene without someone to guide him. What the hell kind of message is that? "To half our customer base we'd like to say, we think you're a mouth-breathing retard who will probably try to pay for our burgers with pocket lint, a bent paperclip, and something shiny, but please try our new burger." I'm sure there's some subtext in there about "if he only had a woman to whip him in to shape and lay out his clothes for him ...". I hate Carl's Jr for a number of reasons and this is just one of them.

The commercial that annoys me is the cheerios one.

"Cheerios are good for my heart" dad says
Kid asks his "dad you always eat cheerios."
"Not before I met your mom" His father replies with a loving look for his wife. My take is that starting a family motived this guy to try to take better care of himself. He didn't really bother before but now that he's got a family it's part of his duties.
"Your father did lots of things before he met me" the wife
castratingly replies.

The commercial end there. Here are some lines I'd like to see the father use.
"Like your aunt Celia. That was a wild ride."
"Like have sex. Ask you mom how her headaches doing. They got a cereal that fixes frigid yet?."
"Like eat prime rib. Man was that good."
"Like enjoy life. God to I miss my balls."


Note:
Here's a response to the pussification essay

18 Comments:

Blogger Simon Hawk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

13/9/06 05:11  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

That's some annoying shit. But totally true. We've become a nation of total pussies. But you know what...we're letting it happen to ourselves. As men, we just shut up and put up with what's going on out of fear of being "politically incorrect." And make no mistake, it is FEAR. Does any of us really want to get sued because we told some broad on the street she has nice tits? I don't think so. Maybe the only solution is to cowboy the fuck up and grab a chicks ass once in awhile. Or trip a little kid, kick a puppy, or not shave or shower for a few weeks no matter what anyone thinks.

13/9/06 05:17  
Blogger Garble said...

Good conversation!
Simon, Lacking any better explanation for your actions I'm going to continue to assume that you bumped into jack, he gave you a steely look and said; "take it down." You than went home, changed is pants, deleted everything, and then put on something pretty so jack would notice you at the bar later that night.

Jack, You're wrong about a couple of things. You can't be sued for telling a woman on the street that she has nice tits. It's not actionable. Keep it up for three blocks or do it every day for a month and it might but one time isn't a crime, or a tort, it's just rude.

13/9/06 05:38  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

13/9/06 05:43  
Blogger Garble said...

I'm NOT trying to bait you. I'm ripping on you. I don't care if you respond or not. There was a bunch of crap in the old blog that didn't suck too hard. Every time I want to link to something I wrote that you deleted for no good reason I'm going to be annoyed. And I'm going to rip on you.

13/9/06 05:46  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

That's not quite how it went down...but yer close!

I don't think I'm wrong. I know you can't get arrested or sued for doing it once. But it's the same kind of fear, that the woman will make a big deal out of it and make your life hell in some small way. And just to prove it, next time you are on the street or in a store (without your wife!) go up to the first woman you see, look her right in the cleavage and tell her she's got a nice rack. You won't. Because it's socially unexceptable and could result in some unpleasentness for you. Being pussified males we know this. Which is why we don't act like males anymore.

13/9/06 06:01  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Don't get me started on how big of a woman Garble is. We're trying to have a nice, civil debate here.

13/9/06 06:07  
Blogger Garble said...

The thing you're leaving out simon is that you've never said you made a mistake. I'll tell you what, you admit it was a stupid wimpy thing to do and I'll drop it. It'll be like that guy you blew. It was only one dick, you tried it, you didn't like and we don't bring it up all the time.

13/9/06 07:02  
Blogger Garble said...

Jack, i see a difference between being 'wimpy' and being rude. You're right, i wouldn't walk up to a woman at the store and comment on her boobs. But i wouldn't walk up to a guy at the store and ask how much be paid for his watch or tell him his mullet looks ugly. Well, i might if I were drunk but I'd understand later that it was a rude thing to do.

I think it's important to seperate 'Manly' from asshat. You don't need to be joe dirt to be male.

Bond is a guy's guy (usually) and he's extremely polite.

13/9/06 07:06  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

Why am I not surprised that Grable knows all the legal details surrounding sexual harassment and restraining orders?

I heard this interesting statistic today: Currently, 58% of college graduates are female. What's the deal with that?! I hope we don't end up like that episode of Star Trek where the women ruled the planet in a matriarchy (can you say Drow elves?).

I hate to add fire to the drama that is Garble v Simon (those footfalls are NDAmmitt and McMinn running for the hills), but this is why there are only two admins anymore. Were Si to be in charge, we'd be up to spoonhouse version 9.0

13/9/06 07:06  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Garble, since when was being polite synonymous with being a real dude? I don't consider Bond a "dude." Sure he pulls alot of ass, but I guarantee he's never worn flannel, or gone more than two days without shaving. I'll bet he's never even drank a beer.

I do agree with Simon though. I think it's funny you are such a staunch defender of this subject, even though you pussed out first.

13/9/06 07:13  
Blogger Matt McMinn said...

Can't we just agree that you're all gay and drop it? It sounds like a feelings forum for flying spaghetti monster's sake.

13/9/06 07:25  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

You know how I know you're gay??? You like Coldplay.

13/9/06 07:33  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

Why does everything degenerate to "
Your gay" comments?

13/9/06 07:44  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Anyway, back to the topic, what was it again? I dunno, but you guys de-railed this one bad. One thing that bugs me is all the husband-schmuck commercials on radio and tv. Ever notice how they always portray the male as a bumbling idiot who can't do anything right until the woman steps in to save the day? I don't know about anyone else, but I can change a fucking light switch cover without the aid of a feminist whore.

13/9/06 07:45  
Blogger Garble said...

Good point Cohort!

Jack, I don't think polite is synonymous with being a real dude, and I don't think being rude is either.

In other words: Joe Dirts wasn't a man's man. He lied to impress people, he lacked ambition, he was whiny and he talked about how he was going to kick your ass and never did.

Bond (for a convienent example) is a man's man. He never lies to impress people, he doesn't talk about violence he just uses it when required, and he does what he sets out to do. Now he might be a little too 'clean' in the movies, but the books demonstrate a character that has no problem getting dirty if that's what's required.

It's not because Joe's dirty and Bond's not, it's because of how they behave.

13/9/06 08:22  
Blogger Garble said...

Jack, I think i just figured out what you meant by:

"I do agree with Simon though. I think it's funny you are such a staunch defender of this subject, even though you pussed out first."

See here's the thing, flannel, beer and smelling bad aren't really intrinsic to being male. They're intrinsic to blue collar life. In my opinion Blue collar life doesn't have any lock on being manly.

Obviously a real man will do what's needed to get the job done. So he's not afraid of dirt. But, that doesn't mean there's anything noble about dirt either.

Does a real man wear flannel? He does if he want's to stay warm.
Does a real man shave? sometimes. He doesn't have a long personal grooming routine and he doesn't cultivate a three day scruff to impress his friends.
Does he drink beer? Probably. But it's not required.

13/9/06 08:42  
Blogger Matt McMinn said...

Arguments degenerate into "you're gay" comments because arguing on the internet is fucking gay, meaning that people that do so are engaging in gay activities, and therefore, are themselves, gay.

13/9/06 09:51  

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