Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Are Guy Movies Dead?

Kyle has a monster post about guy movies that's made me wonder if their dead. So, what is the most recent guy movie you can name? I'd say Lord of War except he's way to introspective. Brave heart? Rob Roy? What's you take?


Blogger NDammitt said...

Domino was the last guy movie that I saw, only because I haven't seen Clearks 2.

12/9/06 04:34  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Has anyone seen Open Range? Annette Benning has a pretty major role, but I'm gonna lump it under "piece-of-ass." Kevin Costner is a fucking psycho in it. But he's trying to be good. It just doesn't always work out. If you haven't seen it I definitely recommend it.

12/9/06 05:09  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

How is Domino a chick movie? Synopsis: rich chick hates beverly hills, starts bounty hunting. the end.
seemed like a chick power movie to me.

Open Range had one of the best shotgun scenes ever, when Robert Duvall blasts the guy thru a wall.

As far as guy movies being dead... I think that happened when Deniro and Pacino stopped doing mobster movies. That's why I'm watching more and more engrossing TV shows (and anime)

12/9/06 06:35  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

Remember how violent Robo-Cop 1 & 2 were? There needs to be some more like that. Don't forget to watch "Payback" with Mel Gibson, that movie has it all.

12/9/06 06:39  
Blogger Garble said...

Mel seems to make a lot of 'guy movies'. I wonder if it has anything to do with hating jews?

12/9/06 06:48  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

My votes:
Best guy movie with a "big" Hollywood action hero: Predator

Best guy movie with a cast of relative unknowns: Reservoir Dogs

Best guy movie with a chick as the lead: Aliens

Other notables:
The Professional
Die Hard

12/9/06 06:50  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

It sucks that Arnold is all old and flabby and a governor now. We'll never get any new Arnold movies. Stupid.

12/9/06 06:53  
Blogger Garble said...

Mel and Arnold...there might be some correlation here.

Also, do action movies count as guy movies? If so that Batman Begins should be on the list. (or is there a no tights rule?)

12/9/06 07:36  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Batman Begins sucked. Doo de doo I'm Batman and I have a 6 trillion dollar suit, but I need to spray paint it with Rustoleum to blend in with the night and keep up the facade of mystery man by nighttime. Also my Bat tank weighs in at a svelte 42,000 pounds so I don't break roofs on wooden houses when I jump on them from hundreds of feet in the air.

12/9/06 08:11  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

You are stupid. Batman Begins ruled. How would you have made it? You would probably have Tim Burton do it again. That guy was a shit head.

12/9/06 09:01  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Yeah, my opinion on trivial stuff like Batman makes me stupid. Anyway, I don't know who Tim Burton even is, but if he's the one who directed it then I wouldn't have him do it again. And bring back the Batmobile, that was awesome and not lame like that stupid triangular tank with two wheels up front which was supposed to be metaphorical for clenched fists. I don't know about anyone else, but the wheels didn't make me think of fists clenching defiantly at the nemesis, but rahter the designers suffering a lack of creativity and having a temporary bout with Down Syndrome.

12/9/06 09:17  
Blogger Garble said...

Cohort is just brimming with hate today. I like it. We need to find something useful for him to vent on. Otherwise we'll be stuck with: "_Blank_ sucked for the smallest, least important reason possible."

12/9/06 09:25  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Sure the success of the movie wasn't hinging on the Battank, but Jesus Christ that's the protagonists means of transportation. It certainly lends a certain overall effect to the movie based on what the hero is driving. Would Terminator be as awesome if Arnold drove around in a Geo Metro?

12/9/06 09:30  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

There's few constants in this world: The sun will rise, Simon will shoot a buck opening morning, and Cohort will be incredibly, unnecessarily pissed about some minute detail.

Where do horror movies fit in to the "guy movie" genre (if at all).

If there is a place for horror/slasher flicks, I nominate Saw and Saw II.

12/9/06 09:32  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

Didn't he steal a station wagon in the first Terminator?

12/9/06 09:33  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

It's looks practical. It looks like a fucking tank, not some giant,rolling, neon light laden Kenner toy. The older ones looked like an eight year old designed them. And what else is he supposed to PAINT his suit with? Certainly not PAINT, like he did in the movie. You fuckwit.

12/9/06 09:36  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

I just thought of one. The Thing. A drunken, surly Kurt Russell killing aliens with a flamethrower in Antarctica while wearing a sombrero. That's a fucking guy movie if I've ever seen one.

12/9/06 10:06  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

"The Thing" trivia question:

What was the liquor Kurt Russell was pounding in the beginning of the movie???

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

12/9/06 10:10  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

J & B scotch. YES.

12/9/06 10:11  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Why the hell would you need to paint your suit? If it was that expensive and advanced, it should just be black already. Wouldn't it get annoying to have to re-paint it and touch it up after every single battle? Stupid.

12/9/06 10:18  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

Nice! Never question Jack's movie knowledge, he's savant-like.

12/9/06 10:19  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

I don't remember him painting his suit... I recall him spraying the helmet with an airbrush, but not the suit itself.

And I thought they explained why they were custom "detailing" everything in the movie: so that no one from Thailand would see a pic of Batman and say, "it rook rike helmet we sell to Bwuce Wayne!". Alfred is smart and cool. Batman wouldn't be shit without him.

12/9/06 10:22  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

The material wasn't black in the first place, ass! It's like saying, "Why the fuck isn't this apple black? FUCK."

12/9/06 10:23  
Blogger Garble said...

Cohort’s Manichean view of everything is the best. I mean the worst. No wait it rocks. All I know is I'm 100% sure that it's either the best thing ever! or it's the suckiest suck that ever sucked a suck. But I'm certain that there's no possibility of it being good with some room for improvement; or shitty with a few good parts.

12/9/06 11:06  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

That can be remedied. I just won't bring up any more points. Problem solved.

12/9/06 11:16  
Blogger Garble said...

Shit, we piled on CM too much and hurt his feeling.

12/9/06 11:19  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Clearly, I'm crying my eyes out and filling up a bottle with warm, 2% milk because nobody agrees with me on Batman. Ouch.

12/9/06 11:21  
Blogger NotAUser said...

Oh it's a thick white liquid Cohort, but that ain't milk.

12/9/06 12:23  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Oh that was real intelligent you fucking retard. Any moron with half a brain could have come up with something like that. Congrats, you're stepping on the boundaries of mediocrity.

12/9/06 12:27  

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