News in East Texas

Apparently, there's not much going on in East Texas these days. The following is a list of recent headline stories from our local ABC affiliate. Most of these are lead stories that we watch every evening while eating dinner. My guess is that stories about dogs, zoos and porn get ratings in our viewing area. Check these out... this stuff is classic (if you don't laugh out loud at some of these headlines, there's something wrong with you):

Is Your Coat Fur Fake, or Is It Fido?
Studies: Circumcision Reduces HIV Risk
Atheist Group Takes on Bush Initiative
Evolution Memo Prompts Call for Apology
Fortune: Year Of Pig Will Bring Disaster
Zoo Tours Cash In On Hot Monkey Love
Mother Cat Adopts Newborn Rottweiler
Batman Sighting Puts Schools on Lockdown
Mom Allegedly Leaves Kids In Car To Tan
Grandfather fights 16-foot snake to free grandson
Texas Man Gets Death for Killing Fetus
Humane Society: 'Faux fur' Often Dog Hair
Prehistoric Lovers Uncovered Locked in Eternal Embrace
Dad Accused of Using Stun Gun on Baby
Oracle Sued For Failing Blind Users
Man Gives Away $400 Million
Man Eats Record 182 Chicken Wings
Dutch Gym to Introduce 'Naked Sunday'
The Porn Pastors: XXXChurch.com
Cheney's Daughter: My Baby 'Is Not A Prop'
Burly Bundle of Joy: 14.5-Pound Baby Boy Born in Cancun
'Harry Potter' Shows Buff Bod In Nude Scene
Naughty Baristas Give Coffee an Extra Kick
Scientist Develops Caffeinated Doughnuts
Police use stun guns on greased, naked student
Prehistoric 'Hobbit' Was Definitely New Species
Mysterious Ice Chunk Smashes Florida Car
Some Thieves Willing To Kill For Ford Trucks
Duck Shot By Hunter Cheats Death Again!
Cats lose visiting privileges at women's prison
Stolen Bigfoot Statue Found Without Feet
K-Fed's Super Bowl Ad Continues to Stir Controversy
Cats in Vt. Prison Must Go, Supe Says
Dog Reunites With Family After 6 Years
Church Hosts 'Porn and Pancakes' Event
Teens Admit To Killing Dog In Oven
A 'Thriller' Back In The US?
UFO sighing In North Carolina
Polite Nude Jogger Shocks Hikers, Bikers
I Love New York!--On A Condom?
Wine And Dine With Your Canine In Dallas!
Got A Date? Dairy Farmers Start Labeling Their Milk With Personal Ads
Dunking Parakeet Becomes Web Video Star
Bars Should Allow Dogs
Zoo celebrates virgin Komodo birth
Mummified Baby Found in Storage Unit
Pet shop owner creates beer for dogs from beef extract and malt