Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Hollywood must be destroyed

Holy shit. The media never ceases to amaze me with their "cool" buzzwords. The newest one is: RETROSEXUAL.

And I quote:
"Well, it's certainly back, especially in Hollywood, where being a bit hairy and showing a little paunch isn't necessarily such a bad thing anymore.

Behold, the era of the everything-old-is-new-again "retrosexual" is upon us."

Someone fucking kill me now so I don't have to hear anymore.


Blogger Jim Brannick said...

If that's true (i.e. hairy with paunch), then I'd say we're all going to be the new "sexy".

See, I used to tell Simon all the time- WE don't have to change our glutonous ways, all we have to do is wait for society's standards to swing 180 degrees.

25/7/06 12:51  
Blogger Simon Hawk said...

You beat me to it. As far as Im concerned bring on the beer & pizza.

Actually I think it's a ploy to try to reconnect with the general public. People are getting sick of the "perfect" look and having to see and hear about all the tool actresses barfing to be rail-thin. Hollywood is gay.

25/7/06 12:55  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

I still think it's bullshit that it's OK for me to be fat and hairy NOW. Only because a bunch of self-centered, morally vapid nit-wits say it is.

25/7/06 12:57  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

You're right. I've changed my mind. I'm going to rip out handfulls of my pubes and sell them to all those thin, hairless girly-men so they can look like REAL men again. All hail, hair, beer and flannel!

25/7/06 13:02  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

So Jack, what say you we buck the system and get chiseled and sculpted (kinda like when the Family Guy got all that plastic surgery)? Then we'd really be sticking it to those hollywood douchebags.
Bring on the Hydroxycut!

25/7/06 13:04  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Hell yeah. I'm up for it. I dunno about Simon, though. I can never keep him on a work-out program for more than a couple weeks.

25/7/06 13:08  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

A couple WEEKS! You must be doing something right. I could never get him to workout for two consecutive days!

25/7/06 13:10  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

It must run in our stupid family. I can only go for a few days, then it's on to something else.

25/7/06 13:13  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

It helps if you tell him there will be numerous sweaty men working out in the same room together!

25/7/06 13:14  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

Si just needs to start sucking down 3 or 4 packs of cigs a day, drinking red bull and mountain dew by the gallon, and consuming a diet of pure sugar.

Sure, he'll be malnurished to the point of hospitalization, but he'll be emaciated and thin. He'd look rather ghoul-ish. Kinda like back when he was in 9th grade.

25/7/06 13:17  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

that was the only way I could get you to come over and work out. I'm sorry about the deception. I was only looking out for your health. I don't care if you're a colon cowboy. It's cool with me...fag.

25/7/06 13:19  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Ok, enough ofthe gay shit. Back to the topic at hand. What were saying now? Oh yeah, "fuck Hollywood."

25/7/06 13:26  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

See Jim? I'm not the only one with anal intrusion jokes.

25/7/06 13:29  
Blogger Jim Brannick said...

True. You need to do a lot more work if you want to steal the "anal market" away from these two.

25/7/06 13:39  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Nah that's ok, I'll let them have the title of "anal market connoisseurs". Queers.

26/7/06 05:17  
Blogger Garble said...

It's a pretty tough question whether Simon, Jack or Cohort is gayer. Not something I really want to think about that much.

26/7/06 06:32  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

Hey now. We ALL know Cohort is. He's the only one who won't admit it.

26/7/06 06:42  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Haha Garble, you said "that much", which implies you still do from time to time. You homo.

26/7/06 07:10  

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