Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Top assholes of the U.S.A. who think they're awesome, but don't realize nobody cares about their "noble" actions.

I was reading this article on the "15 People Who Make America Great". What a bunch of superfluous bullshit. It's just all these famous people that need more attention because they know their movies are shitty and Hollywood is out of ideas. A good example of dumbass syndrome are these two idiots: Benita Singh and Ruth Degolia. They think they're doing the universe a favor because they raised $600,000 for Guatemalan kids to go to elementary school. Who gives a shit about Guatemala?? When the hell are people going to realize we need the help? We have shitty schools in Detroit with little kids busting caps with their 9 milla killas, and everyone else in the universe is worried about Allaba Allaba Gorenz in fucking Guatemala. What do people do in Guatemala? Plant rice and tame plains buffalo? Why the hell would they need a damn elementary school? Next, there's this moron by the name of Pierre Omidyar. There's a caption underneath his picture that says: He's using his $10 billion fortune to help people 'tap into their own power'. Tap into their own power, what the hell is that supposed to mean? We're not mutants from the X-Men. If I go along with this guy's plans, I don't think I'll develop the ability to shoot rectums out of my eyes. But nevermind superpowers and Guatemala, this one takes the cake and smears it on the floor. Brad Pitt. As if that ass stretcher didn't get enough publicity and made-up titles, he's now on the list of people that make America great. And for what? Helping out stupid Africa with AIDS? They don't need help, it's natures way of ridding this shitty planet of all the inferior lifeforms. Brad Pitt sold his first brat pictures to the paparazzi or some stupid shit for $4 million dollars, and gave it all to African charities. But not to sound like he doesn't care about America, he generously donated $100,000 to an American architecture competition. Whoaa slow down there buddy, not $100,000 dollars! Just think about how far that will go right here in the U.S. Jesus Christ, with that kind of dough, the architects might be able to design an addition for Pitt's house. I'm sick of all these assholes that think they're some kind of prodigious superhero because they helped out some asshole in unheard of parts of the world. I hope an arsen sets fire to Brad Pitt's penis.

7 Comments:

Blogger Garble said...

You made too many references to ass holes, rectums, and Brad Pitt's penis for a straight man.

27/6/06 07:18  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Get over it pussy. Like you've never heard those words before.

27/6/06 07:19  
Blogger Jack T Briggs said...

I'm with you. Fuck the rest of the world. We have our own problems, let's fix them before it's too late. It's not like any of those fucking countries help us out of the goodness of their hearts.

27/6/06 07:38  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

Yeah no shit. If ever they do get as powerful us, they won't help pay us back, they'll just start another war and try to take us over.

27/6/06 07:59  
Blogger Garble said...

I figure it's their money, they can do with it as they please. If they want to buy another house or give it away it's their business not mine. If you want get angry blame the writer who glorified them. He’s the one that’s saying what they did is a good use of money. Otherwise you’re as bad as those hippies that complain whenever someone uses money in a way they don’t approve of; two cycle quads, full sized trucks, or a house more than 3 blocks from where you work for example

27/6/06 08:32  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

I'm not a hippy by any means. I love pollution. But you'd think that those rich people would actually care about what the fuck happens over here. We have lots of problems, so why waste your money on everyone else. It's just stupid, that's all I'm saying. And even you can agree Brad Pitt is an idiot.

27/6/06 08:57  
Blogger Garble said...

It's no less stupid than spending money on another car, or a bigger house or clothes etc etc. I know you’re not a hippy. But you’re using the same logic they do. That if people don’t share your priorities there’s something wrong with them. What if brad (or whoever) looks at the situation and decides that there’s already so many people trying to help inner city schools that their money would just be wasted? In my opinion, whatever people want to do with their money is their business and that there’s nothing wrong with charity of any sort.

27/6/06 09:18  

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