From the annals of the spoon house mock elections

Jim Brannic~ Most likely to be killed by a mob

Jack Briggs~ Most likely to turn the gun on himself.

Simon Hawk~Most likely to let the police sniper sort it out.

Jizzeol~Most likely to marry a stripper.

Garble~ Most likely to die of VD.

Lunchbox~Most likely die in the frozen treat isle.

Cohort Mandible~Most likely to choke on his own vomit (runner up for most likely to walk to the 20 year reunion.)

Ndammit~Most likely to wear a skirt.