Friday, January 12, 2007

Public Service Announcement

T. vaginalis is a the most common sexually transmitted disease in the world and infects 170 million people every year. According to this article, it is "...common in the human gut, migrates to the genital region and flourishes." Don't be a victim of T. vaginalis!
Here are some ways to protect yourself:
1. Since it originates in the gut, refrain from deep throating followed immediately by vaginal penetration. Should your bury your shaft to the balls in your partner's esophagus, you might cause T. vaginalis to hitch a ride your man-tube causing it to jump ship when you insert it into the folds of her love canal.
2. DO NOT go directly from anus to vagina. You may, however, go from vagina to anus, but once you put it in the anus it must stay there until completion.
3. Avoid conducting oral sex on your female partner. T. vaginalis lives and thrives only on the vaginal walls. Therefore, you must insist your partner conduct oral sex only on you with no reciprocation- just to be on the safe side.
4. T. vaginalis "...causes some women to have a frothy, odoriferous discharge." If you suspect your female is carrying T. vaginalis, begin with an iodine bath followed by penicillin followed by a trip to the OB. Or better yet, dump her ass. There are roughly three billion women in the world, disqualifying 170 million each year due to a skanky poonch isn't going to reduce your chances too much.

Most importantly, be safe. T. vaginalis is nothing to laugh about. Educate yourself and your friends on how to prevent the spread of this heinous disease. They'll thank you for it!


Blogger Simon Hawk said...

HAAAAAAA, thanks for the warning!

12/1/07 16:10  
Blogger Cohort Mandibles said...

"...causes some women to have a frothy, odoriferous discharge." That's fucking disgusting. But it would explain why my first date smelled of farmhouse cheese and sweaty socks.

12/1/07 17:19  

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